The Viral Vault

The 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing will likely go down in history for all of the drama surrounding Russian figure skater Kamila Valieva, but one story late in the games has emerged involving a frozen penis.

(This is one not for the faint of heart, so consider yourself warned. And it’s most likely NSFW, as you could tell from the headline)

Per Reuters, Finnish cross-country skier Remi Lindholm suffered a frozen penis following his involvement in the men’s 50km race during the final day of the Olympic games. Harsh weather conditions resulted in the event being delayed by an hour and shortened to 30km, but that still didn’t prevent Lindholm’s very unfortunate injury.

Lindholm was quoted via Finnish media saying, “You can guess which body part was a little bit frozen when I finished (the men’s Olympic 50km race) … it was one of the worst competitions I’ve been in. It was just about battling through.”

Things were so literally icy that Lindholm had to use a heat pack to thaw out his junk, but he said, “When the body parts started to warm up after the finish, the pain was unbearable.”

The craziest part of all of this? This is actually the second time within a year Lindholm has suffered from a frozen penis with the first time happening during an event in Ruka, Finland in 2021.

Call me crazy, but if my genitals ever froze, that would lead to me never pursuing whatever act resulted in said frozen genitals, but Olympians have proven time and time again they are quite different from most people. Fortunately, Lindholm and his penis are resting and recovering as of publishing. We wish them well in their future endeavors.

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Erica Banas is a rock/classic rock news blogger who's well-versed in etiquette and extraordinarily nice. #TransRightsAreHumanRights

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