Weird News – Shakespeare Didn’t Have This In Mind For Romeo and Juliet

We're pretty sure that the sounds the one and (thankfully) only Executive Producer Michael Fuzzy Lee was hearing in his head were that of Shakespeare spinning in his grave.

Today in Weird News, deputies in the state of Georgia stopped a driver of a Ferrari who was clocked at 178 miles per hour. The Sheriff's Department said in a statement, "There are no justifiable reasons for going that fast. You are putting others at risk if something goes wrong."

That's pretty damn fast, but what I want to know is who caught this guy? There is no way cop cars could go faster than 178 miles per hour.

Unless, of course, it was KITT from Knight Rider.

I do have a collectible Knight Rider wrist watch...I wonder if this still works.

FUZZY - KITT, you there?
KITT - I'm ready, Michael.
FUZZY - Hey, was that you that pulled over the driver at 178 miles per hour? That is fast.
KITT - And what's wrong with fast cars, may I ask?
FUZZY - Nothing. Nothing.
FUZZY - But thanks for capturing that creep. Good job executing Super Pursuit mode.
KITT - Thank you, Michael. But it has been a draining day. My power packs could use a rest.
FUZZY - I bet it has. Check yourself in with Bonnie. I'm sure she wouldn't mind giving you a tune up, if you know what I mean.
KITT - Bonnie, with those hands, you should have been a surgeon.
FUZZY - Ah, you see? You know what I'm talking about. And just do me a favor. When you're finished with Bonnie, send her over here. I could use a tune up myself.
KITT - Right away, Michael.
FUZZY - Ah, that KITT. He's such a well mannered AI.

And lastly, in weird news, a woman from Indianapolis was heading home from work when she was approached by an armed man demanding money. He was apparently smitten by her and wanted to take their new relationship to the next level, Facebook.

Later, he sent the message that he would pay back the money he stole because she was too pretty to rob. But his attempt to win over her heart failed as he was arrested for multiple crimes.

Dating in the modern age sure has changed a lot over the years. If Romeo and Juliet were to be rebooted, it would probably sound like this -

JULIET - Romeo, Romeo. Where art thou Romeo?
ROMEO - I'm right in front of you. It is I, Romeo, pointing a gun at you, Juliet. But I am now beseeched by your hot tail. If you give me all your jewels, I will take thee out for dinner and drugs. For thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.
JULIET - Oh, Romeo, let thou instant message thy Facebook that thee knights toss your ass in thy dungeon that our parting is such sweet sorrow.
ROMEO - God dang it. Tell me, Juliet, what art thou I did wrong that thee chastise me, for this brings woe to my heart.

And that's modern Shakespearean love for DHA's weird news.

Some of the best TV themes are songs that existed before a show premiered. The best TV themes are the ones that set the tone for a show. They paint that picture of the world in which a show takes place and help transport you there alongside the characters.

In the history of television, there have truly been countless memorable theme songs that are just as important as the shows themselves. Here's a look at ten great existing songs used as TV themes.

Few shows captured the energy of the aughts quite like HBO's Entourage. Even fewer shows can say that Jane's Addiction -- one of the coolest, most influential bands of all time -- helped set the tone for their show with a song like "Superhero."

Before This is Us and the Pearsons, there was Parenthood and the Bravermans, an equally emotional rollercoaster of a family. Dylan's "Forever Young" often brought some much-needed levity to the show.

Between the iconic Joe Cocker cover and the home video imagery, this might be one of the best opening title sequences in TV history. It's hard not to feel the tug on the heartstrings with this one.

Who could forget about Bosom Buddies?! Not only was it Tom Hanks' first big acting gig, but it also featured Billy Joel's "My Life" as the theme. Like Hanks, The Piano Man was just dying for his big break in 1980. (Kidding, of course!)

A cult classic that was criminally canceled after one season, Joan Jett & the Blackheart's "Bad Reputation" helped set the tone for this coming-of-age series. Just looking at the opening credits and seeing this young cast of future stars is really incredible.

This is probably the best example of a TV theme song/TV series juxtaposition. For that, we say, "Whoa, Bundy!"

A spy romp that also highlights a classic tune from Cake? Oh yeah, this had "cult classic" written all over it from day one.

A sort of Married...with Children for the new millennium, Malcolm in the Middle has quite the earworm of a theme song with this tune from They Might Be Giants. Plus, any excuse to shout out the show that really gave the world the first major look at Bryan Cranston is a great excuse.

A tense show needs a tense theme song. Rescue Me was about New York City firefighters in the aftermath of 9/11. While the show had plenty of humorous moments, the underlying PTSD theme is perfectly soundtracked by this song from The Von Bondies.

It's only fitting that one of the greatest, most-beloved TV shows of all time has an utter banger of a theme song. Alabama 3 may still be a cult band, but we sincerely hope they're still collecting solid residuals off of this song for its use as the theme for The Sopranos.