Fuzzy Fractures Two Dalmatians – the Remaining 99 Should Probably Be VERY Worried
When the one and (thankfully) only Executive Producer Michael Fuzzy Lee decides to take on the Disney classic 101 Dalmatians, two of the cute canines are the main targets. And the remaining 99 should be very worried.
It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories.
Well, sort of.
It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.
Good morning, boys and girls. It’s now time to fracture a Disney classic from back in the 60’s, a scene from 101 Dalmatians.
Let’s go.
It was the first day of the New Year, and Pongo and Perdita were out for a walk with their human masters.
Perdita was in such a happy mood. “Oh, Pongo. Ain’t it grand? We just gave birth to 15 puppies. What a wonderful way to start the year.”
“Oh, Perdita, are you smoking crack again? I don’t think grand is the word I’ll use to describe it. How about ‘oh, we’re screwed.’ Don’t you know how much this is going to cost us?”
“Oh, Pongo, just get a job at the animal shelter. You could be on turd watch. They pay pretty well, I hear. In the meantime, I’ll remodel your doll cave to a nursery.”
“Oh, crap. Not my doll cave. Please leave my poster of Peachy the Pomeranian on the wall. She’s all I have left!”
As they both walked home with their human masters the puppies left a huge mess all over the place. Tears flowed from Pongo’s eyes. “Oh, my Lord.How am I gonna do this? I’m not a man. I’m just a dog. Usually animals like us don’t like to be neutered. But now I’m thinking getting my doghood chopped off was a missed opportunity.”
“Pongo, stop your complaining and help me clean.”
“Oh, Lord, my life sucks.”
As Pongo and Perdita cleaned the house, one of the puppies went unaccounted for. Perdita went on a mad search. “Sweetie pie, where are you? Pongo, stop lying around like a turd in the sun. Help me find our puppy.”
“Oh, heavens. If he’s smart, maybe he’s at the animal hospital getting his dog hood removed. You don’t want to repeat the mistakesof his father, which is me. God, how I missed the days of sniffing another dog’s butt. I ain’t cut out for this crap.”
Yeah, I wouldn’t be cut out for that crap either. I could barely take care of myself, let alone 15 mini mutts.
Best of luck, Pongo.
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