Florida Man’s Brutal Honesty Ends Up In His Shoplifting Arrest Report
Remember as a kid you were told by your parents that “honesty is always the best policy?” Even Florida Man was probably told the same thing by his parents, but…
Remember as a kid you were told by your parents that "honesty is always the best policy?" Even Florida Man was probably told the same thing by his parents, but he may have been a little TOO honest when the Largo police caught up with him recently.
FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!
DATELINE - Largo FL and the saga of Florida Man Daniel Kaczmer.
Daniel went up to the Walmart in Largo. Brought his bike with him. Bike had a flat tire, left the bike outside, went inside, picked up a bicycle pump, a lock, and an inner tube worth about, I don't know, maybe $35, $36.
Well, instead of paying for it, he stuffed it under his shirt, attempted to walk out of the store. A Walmart employee saw what was going on, called the cops, who collared the accused outside the store.
When the cops finally got a hold of him, he made the following spontaneous statement to them. And it's in the arrest record, by the way - "I'm not good at shoplifting."
Well, it's not as if he hasn't been trying or practicing. His rap sheet includes two prior theft convictions, so as a result of that, he's now been hit with a felony. Charged for the alleged pilferage. Alleged, of course.
He's locked up in lieu of $2,000 bond. He was arrested last month for stealing about $21 worth of multiple drinks and sandwiches from another Walmart, this one in St. Petersburg. At the time of the arrest in that case, he was also charged with possession of fentanyl and drug paraphernalia.
It's in the police report, the arrest on the shoplifting charge - "I'm not good at shoplifting."
Apparently not.
Top 5 “Florida Man Strikes Again” Stories For July 2023
With each passing day, Florida Man Strikes Again takes us on one new adventure after another.
Whether it's vast quantities of illegal drugs, high-speed chases. grand theft auto, the possibilities are endless.
And let's not leave Florida Woman out of the mix, either, because she can throw a mean burrito!
If nothing else, the antics of Florida Man (and Woman) certainly help keep Florida Attorney in business. And speaking of which, can you even begin to imagine what it must be like being an entry-level public defender in the Sunshine State these days?
It's enough to make you think Saul Goodman might want to see if he can work a plea deal to get himself out of jail. There's certainly a large client base just waiting for him.
Herewith are our five favorite Florida Man Strikes Again stories for the month of July.
Florida Man Probably Doesn’t Want To Be A Contestant On Sheriff Ivey’s Game Show
Not only is this our favorite Florida Man story for July, it's one of our favorites so far in 2023!
Brevard County Sheriff Wayne Ivey is a no-nonsense kind of guy.
He also has a pretty good sense of humor, as you can see from the Facebook page for the Brevard County Sheriff's Office. Anyone who can refer to himself and his fellow officers as "the Po-Po" sounds like a guy you might want to share a beer with.
Well, it seems that Sheriff Ivey is the host of a new game show called Wheel of Fugitive and while he's not above poking fun at himself, it's also pretty obvious that he means business.
And when Sheriff Ivey means business, it also means that Florida Man probably shouldn't want to be a contestant.
The Fake ID Card Was Probably the Least of Problems For Florida Man
Having a fake ID card isn't all that unusual. You can pretty much ask any college student who may or may not have reached the legal drinking age yet.
When it comes to Florida Man, the fake ID card he had was probably the least of his problems when police caught up with him.
<strong>Florida Man Omar Feliciano</strong> somehow attracted the attention of deputies from Volusia County at the worst possible time.
For one, he was holding 88 games of cocaine.
But - as is often the case with Florida Man - wait, because there's more.
Florida Woman Takes A Page From 50 Cent and Gets Arrested
Florida Woman's aim was a bit off. Remember 50 Cent's attempt to throw out the first pitch at a Mets game a few years ago?
Florida Woman Sarah Ann Kochera took a page from 50 Cent at Rick's Reef restaurant when she got into an argument with someone (we think it was her boyfriend) and tossed a burrito at him, which resulted in her being arrested.
She missed.
And hit someone else.
And now she's under arrest.
Florida Man Will Never Get His Driver’s License With A Stunt Like This
Florida Man Gary Lamar Miller will never get his Florida driver's license if he keeps pulling a stunt like the one he tried a few days ago.
Miller was clocked doing 117 miles per hour in a 70 mph zone on I-75 shortly after midnight a few days ago. With the police now in pursuit, Florida Man led them on a high-speed chase.
Despite flashing lights and sirens, Miller refused to pull over and revved his Nissan SUV to more than 120 MPH before exiting the interstate highway and finally stopping his vehicle in front of a gated community.
If the police were less than thrilled with Miller's antics behind the wheel, you can imagine their reaction when he told one of the arresting officers that the high speed chase made him feel as if he were in the video game Grand Theft Auto.
To top things off, Miller only had a learner's permit to drive and was driving illegally.
https://wdhafm.com/2023/07/24/florida-man-will-never-get-his-drivers-license-with-a-stunt-like-this/
Drag Racing Florida Man Is the Only One To Ever Shut Down A Bridge
When Florida Man takes a road trip, he goes all out!
When Graham Liberal, some kind of Florida Man social media star, arrived in the Steel City from the Sunshine State last week, it was with the intention of setting up some kind of car meet for his social media content.
What ended up happening was a crowd of 300 people and around 50 cars gathering to shut down the Fort Pitt Bridge around 3 AM last Friday morning.
