Try As He Might, Not Even Florida Man’s Bullets Can Defy the Laws of Gravity
It’s pretty simple – what goes up must come down. Maybe Florida Man missed that day in elementary school. FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN! DATELINE – Miami-Dade County on the Saga…
It's pretty simple - what goes up must come down. Maybe Florida Man missed that day in elementary school.
FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!
DATELINE - Miami-Dade County on the Saga of, as of yet, an unidentified Florida Man who was firing a rifle into the air at an apartment complex. He said that he was claiming to celebrate a new law, that went into effect in Florida, an open carry law.
Well, there are couple of problems here.
I used to watch a lot of old westerns when I was a little kid, and I've continued it as an adult. And invariably, you'll see the cowhands ride into town after a long trail drive. They're looking for some whiskey, they're looking for some women, and they're firing their six-shooters in the air.
Someone will say to the marshal or sheriff, "Shouldn't we stop them?" And the marshal or sheriff will say, "Nah, it's all good. They're just blowing a little steam off."
Well, as a kid, I used to look at that and go, well, what happens when those bullets come down? Like, isn't that gravity? What goes up must come down. And I still have that thought as I watch them today.
Well, at any rate, Florida Man firing a rifle into the air. Arrested on 53 total charges, including felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon, resisting an officer with violence, and possession of a short-barrel rifle, plus 48 misdemeanor counts of discharging a weapon in public.
Now, it took a couple of months for Florida Man to be charged with all of this. The reason why is he was in the hospital. It seems that when the police were called, he was told - Florida Man was - to stop shooting and show his hands.
That's the point at which he tried to run away. Well he had a little difficulty doing that because he had full body armor on. He eventually turned towards the officer. There was an exchange of gunfire. Florida Man struck at least once, taken to a local hospital where he was being treated.
That took about two months and then ultimately arrested. So remember, what goes up must come down, even for Florida Man.
Top 5 “Florida Man Strikes Again” Stories For August 2023
The month of August was pretty wild for Florida Man.
Oh sure, there were the usual drunken adventures and mishaps. And impersonating a police officer, well that's definitely nothing new for Florida Man.
What surprised us was the location Florida Man chose for some of his antics - like church - and his inclusion of Mom a couple of times.
Even for non-believers, there has to be at least a little concern of "What if..." when you decide to commit any kind of crime in a church or house of worship.
After all, there are so many other places to find victims these days.
Although we will admit that the attempt at salvation via baptism while in the act of vandalizing a church puts a different sort of twist on things.
And when it comes to dealing with Mom....
Look, you can get any member of the family you want angry at you. But Mom?
Come on, Florida Man. You can do better than that.
Florida Man Arrested While Trying To Get INTO A Police Car To Threaten Someone
The month of August started off with one of the more bizarre Florida Man stories we've seen in awhile.
Florida Man has spent a lot of time in police cars, but this might have been the first time he actively tried to get into one.
You See A Church Congregation, Florida Man Sees Victims For His Next Fraud
Florida Man seemed to spend a lot of time in church during the month of August.
In this first instance, Florida Man saw a lot of targets for his investment scam.
Florida Man Looks For Some Heavenly Salvation In the Middle of A Burglary
Back to church for Florida Man!
This time, he decided that maybe salvation could be found while committing a crime if he took a dip in the sanctuary baptismal pool.
And why not have a K-9 officer join in too?
Florida Man’s Mom Is Not Going To Be Happy About What He Told the Police
In addition to being in church, Florida Man spent a lot of time with Mom during the month of August.
Somehow, blaming Mom for her being the one who gave you a container that contained drug residue in it is not going to warm her heart.
Florida Man Adds Dear Old Mom To His Multimillion-Dollar Theft Ring
It looks as if Florida Man REALLY wants to get the family together in his ring of theft – even Dear Old Mom.
This time, Florida Man didn’t even have to throw her under the bus; she was along with him on the bus ride.
