When Florida Man Has To Go, He Has No Time For the Police
Look. When you’ve got to go…you’ve just GOT to go! Especially if you’re Florida Man, who apparently had no time for the local police when they stopped him. FLORIDA MAN…
Look. When you've got to go...you've just GOT to go! Especially if you're Florida Man, who apparently had no time for the local police when they stopped him.
FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!
DATELINE - Port St. Lucie and the Saga of Florida Man Gary Grimsley.
We've all been in this situation. "I've got to go!" It could mean a number of different things. Perhaps your bladder is about ready to burst, or maybe you have an appointment and somebody stops you and they start to have a conversation. "Listen, I'd love to talk to you about I've got to go. I don't have time for this."
We've all been there.
Well, that's where Florida Man Gary Grimsley was the other day. He obviously had to go somewhere to do something because he was in a hurry. When police stopped him, he was doing 40 miles an hour in a 20 miles per hour school zone in front of an elementary school.
Well, there were a couple of problems here. I know you're shocked, but it is Florida Man.
He said to the cops, I don't have my ID with me.
There was a good reason for that, because he knew that if he gave them his real name, he'd be in a little bit of trouble. So he gave him a fake name, because what he knew and the cops didn't at that point was there were outstanding warrants for his arrest.
So the officers use their vehicle laptop to try to confirm his identity. And that's the point at which Grimsley reportedly got out of his car and told the cops, "Man, I got to be honest. I got to go."
And with that, he ran off from the traffic stop along a canal bank into the woods. The police later got a hold of him. They ultimately found out that Grimsley is wanted on three felony arrests. He's been booked into the St. Lucie County Jail on $118,000 bond.
I don't think he's going to have to go anywhere for a while.
Top 5 “Florida Man Strikes Again” Stories For August 2023
The month of August was pretty wild for Florida Man.
Oh sure, there were the usual drunken adventures and mishaps. And impersonating a police officer, well that's definitely nothing new for Florida Man.
What surprised us was the location Florida Man chose for some of his antics - like church - and his inclusion of Mom a couple of times.
Even for non-believers, there has to be at least a little concern of "What if..." when you decide to commit any kind of crime in a church or house of worship.
After all, there are so many other places to find victims these days.
Although we will admit that the attempt at salvation via baptism while in the act of vandalizing a church puts a different sort of twist on things.
And when it comes to dealing with Mom....
Look, you can get any member of the family you want angry at you. But Mom?
Come on, Florida Man. You can do better than that.
Florida Man Arrested While Trying To Get INTO A Police Car To Threaten Someone
The month of August started off with one of the more bizarre Florida Man stories we've seen in awhile.
Florida Man has spent a lot of time in police cars, but this might have been the first time he actively tried to get into one.
You See A Church Congregation, Florida Man Sees Victims For His Next Fraud
Florida Man seemed to spend a lot of time in church during the month of August.
In this first instance, Florida Man saw a lot of targets for his investment scam.
Florida Man Looks For Some Heavenly Salvation In the Middle of A Burglary
Back to church for Florida Man!
This time, he decided that maybe salvation could be found while committing a crime if he took a dip in the sanctuary baptismal pool.
And why not have a K-9 officer join in too?
Florida Man’s Mom Is Not Going To Be Happy About What He Told the Police
In addition to being in church, Florida Man spent a lot of time with Mom during the month of August.
Somehow, blaming Mom for her being the one who gave you a container that contained drug residue in it is not going to warm her heart.
Florida Man Adds Dear Old Mom To His Multimillion-Dollar Theft Ring
It looks as if Florida Man REALLY wants to get the family together in his ring of theft – even Dear Old Mom.
This time, Florida Man didn’t even have to throw her under the bus; she was along with him on the bus ride.
