Florida Man Accuses Cyclist of Being CIA, Dares Cops To Arrest Him
You know you’ve got a live one on your hands when Florida Man accuses some guy on a bicycle of being with the CIA and then taunts cops, daring them…
You know you've got a live one on your hands when Florida Man accuses some guy on a bicycle of being with the CIA and then taunts cops, daring them to arrest him.
FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!
DATELINE - Jupiter and the Saga of Florida Man Jesse Ray Martinez.
Let's set the stage.
First we have a second Florida Man, Blaise Steinbach who is sitting on his bicycle underneath the US 1 bridge near Harborside Place in a parking lot. That's when Martinez drove by him and said to Steinbach, "You work for the CIA!"
Steinbach, as you can imagine, a little confused.
Martinez drove away rather recklessly then came back and drove his vehicle in the direction of Steinbach, who got out of the way at which point Martinez hit the bike. Jupiter police on the scene, they take the bicyclist's statement and then they go to the driver, Martinez.
Well, they realize that Martinez is under the influence. They gave him some field sobriety tests and he's failed all of them when they were about to start doing another test, just to be sure.
That's when Martinez allegedly said to the officer, "Bleep you. Take me to jail."
Well, he got his wish. Jupiter police officers handcuffed him, escorted him to a patrol car as he kicked and threw elbows. At one point, they decided, we better restrain his legs as well. So now, with all of his limbs bound, that's when Martinez tried to headbutt the cops.
When they finally got him into the back of the patrol car, Jupiter police found alcohol - gee, I'm shocked - and a metal grinder containing marijuana in Martinez's SUV.
Yes, even more shocked...no, I don't think so. It is Florida man after all.
Yet his racking up of criminal charges was not finished because while in custody, Martinez made several violent and rather strange threats to one officer like threatening he would find his family.
And then he said to the officer "You should have worn a mask because I'll remember your face and show up" to exact revenge.
In total, Martinez faces seven charges including battery on a law enforcement officer assault on a law enforcement officer, possession of drug paraphernalia DUI resisting an officerwith violence and intimidation of a law enforcement officer. Bond is set at more than $17,000. He's still in jail.
Wonder about that CIA accusation, though.
Top 5 “Florida Man Strikes Again” Stories For September 2023
Each month, Florida Man seems determined to top his antics from the previous 30 days.
And somehow, he manages to succeed.
In the month of September, transportation appeared to be trending in the Sunshine State - stolen cars, torched vehicles, hamster wheels - you name it!
Getting robbed and arrested all in a matter of a few minutes? That seems like quite the feat.
Until you remember that it's Florida Man we're talking about.
And then there's assault with a deadly lollipop.
What's your favorite Florida Man story from September?
Florida Man Would Have Been Far Better Off Just Eating the Lollipop
Who doesn’t love lollipops? We’re pretty sure that Florida Man can be counted in the “yes” category when they’re being passed out.
You go to the bank, and there they are at the counter. Oh sure, they’re supposed to be for the kids but you know you’ve taken one (or two) for yourself.
Leave it to Florida Man to use a lollipop as a weapon.
Only Florida Man Would Steal A Rolls Royce and Then Rent It Out
This might be one of our all-time favorite Florida Man stories.
There are only a handful of Rolls Royce Wraiths painted in this particular shade of purple. So what does Florida Man do when he steals it?
He posts it for rent on social media.
Florida Man Gets Robbed And Arrested All In the Same Day
Florida Man possesses some very unique traits. For example, how many people can claim they were robbed, call the police to report the theft, and then end up arrested?
Jealous Florida Man Carries A Torch For Both His Girlfriend and Her Jaguar XE
When a jealous Florida Man carries a figurative torch for his girlfriend, and a literal one for her Jaguar SE, you just KNOW you have a hot story on your hands.
Florida Man and His Giant Hamster Wheel Go For the Grand Slam
There’s nothing like having a hobby. In the case of Florida Man, it’s gone from a giant hamster wheel hobby to an obsession worthy of a grand slam.
Now, if this story sounds familiar, well, it should because this is not the first time Baluchi has attempted this.
There were similar stunts in 2014, 2016, and in 2021 which we had told you about in a previous episode of Florida Man Strikes Again.
All of those episodes have ended with Coast Guard intervention.
