Cops To Florida Woman – Urine Some Trouble
If you’ve ever had to submit to a random drug test, you’re familiar with the process. In this case, Florida Woman more than likely knew her urine would test positive…
If you've ever had to submit to a random drug test, you're familiar with the process. In this case, Florida Woman more than likely knew her urine would test positive because of the lengths she went to in an attempt to fool the cops.
Guess what?
It didn't work.
FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!
DATELINE - Clearwater and the Saga of, in this case, Florida Woman Jessica Beatty.
A little background. Jessica was arrested on December 28 for possession of drug paraphernalia and driving with a suspended license. As a result of that arrest, she has to submit to random drug testing.
She is a Clearwater resident with a lengthy rap sheet - numerous cocaine convictions, and related incarceration terms. Well, anyway, late last week, she showed up for her random drug test, and she produced a vial of urine.
There are a couple of problems here. One, it wasn't hers. Two, she claimed that the urine belonged to her aunt's dog.
I'm not quite sure what kind of a container she used, and I REALLY don't want to know how she got the urine sample.
At any rate, it sounds as if she was caught before she submitted it, because then, of course, she has to provide a valid sample, which probably wasn't clean.
If she went to the trouble of getting the dog's urine sample and bringing it with her, yeah, there's a pretty good chance.
Who submits urine from another source if you don't have an issue?
Well, she has issues, all right. Last year, she launched a cleaning service that she incorporated with her boyfriend, who is also an ex-con.
He has a rap sheet that includes convictions for robbery, narcotics possession, disorderly conduct, obstructing police, and loitering and prowling.
To the best of my knowledge, though, he has not submitted his aunt's dog's urine.
Top 5 “Florida Man Strikes Again” Stories For December 2023
The Christmas season is always a wonderfully festive time for many, and that includes Florida Man who had an epic month.
Whether it was flying Christmas trees, extravagant decorations on a home that no one knows who the owner is, or an attempt to meet with the general on a United States military base, Florida Man.
Every state has its colorful characters, but for some reason the phrase "Florida Man" immediately lets you know that you're about to hear a story that will defy most things considered logical.
And you can toss common sense out the window too.
Along with the Christmas tree - that is when you're not flinging it across the room at Florida Man.
What was your favorite Florida Man story for December?
Captain America - aka Florida Man - Claims To Have An Appointment With the General
Getting access to a military base means passing through security checkpoints as Florida Man found out recently when he tried to claim that Captain America was there to speak with the general.
In other words, think of this as a typical "Karen would like to speak with the manager" type of situation.
Florida Man Gets Trimmed By His Girlfriend’s Christmas Tree
Every family has its particular traditions when it comes to decorating for the Christmas holiday season. Most include some kind of Christmas tree. But when it comes to Florida Man and Florida Woman, how they trim their Christmas tree is apparently open to interpretation.
Florida Man’s Christmas Eve Included Doing Dirt Angels While Being Chased By Police
Florida Man being chased by the police isn’t anything new. Making dirt angels in the process and the fact that it happened on Christmas Eve probably shouldn’t shock you either.
Florida Man Has An Unusual Excuse When Cops Find Meth In His Underwear
Florida Man must either be running out of excuses or very creative, because the excuse he gave the cops when they found meth in his underwear was more than just a little unusual.
Either the Meth Fairy paid him a visit, or he has some very strange sleeping partners.
Florida Man May Be A Squatter But He Loves His Christmas Lights
Such a festive time of year, even for Florida Man who seems to like decorating the house. Even if he’s a squatter in a house doesn’t even belong to him.
The question is – who exactly DOES the house belong to?
