What If Quasimodo Had Been Like Rudy At Notre Dame

There are many legends associated with Notre Dame including Quasimodo, Rudy, and Touchdown Jesus.

Somehow, our Lord and Savior managed to escape the Fuzzy Treatment on this week's episode of Fuzzy's Fractured Fairy Tales.

ANNOUNCER - It's time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Erm, well, sort of.

It's Fuzzy's Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.

FUZZY - It's another fine morning to tear up a classic story. Let's fracture The Hunchback of Notre Dame, A Sweet Song.

Raised in Paris, France, Quasimodo worked as a bell ringer at the Notre Dame cathedral with his two gargoyle friends Hugo and Victor.

Waiting to get out of the tower, Quasimodo's dream consisted of one thing.

QUASIMODO - I swear, if I have to ring this bell one more time, it better be because the pizza is ready instead of a turd vibrating out of my butt. Why can't I play football for Notre Dame instead?

HUGO - Are you smoking crack again, son? Look at yourself. You're half blind, almost deaf, mental health issues up the wazoo, and you've got a hunchback!

Those ain't the qualities of an MVP. If you want to aspire to be somebody, get your G.E.D., b***h.

VICTOR - Now be nice, Hugo.

Listen, Quasimodo. You could be anything you want to be, but football is in aggressive sport. Maybe you should talk to Colonel Sanders and have your brain evaluated first.

VICTOR - Pssst, Hugo. He ain't getting in any time soon. His Medulla Oblongata, is just nonexistent. I think he's forgotten he's afraid of flowers, especially the pansies.

FUZZY - As Quasimodo sat in the chair, he watched his favorite football movies, The Waterboy and Rudy.

Saddened that Hugo and Victor may be right about his deficiencies, he still has a purpose he must fulfill, as he stood up at 12 noon.

HUGO - Oh boy, would you look at that, time to get to work.

Hey Quasi, grab a hold of that rope and ring that bell, because you know what's going to happen when the clapper strikes that mouth, right?

QUASI - Yes, I know. A turd will vibrate out of my butt. That is my purpose in life.

HUGO - Listen Quasi, you may not be the top choice for football, but when it comes to turds vibrating out of your butt, you'll always be my MVP.

Are you ready for this?

https://youtu.be/G1bVddnCBII?si=4lK9HZzbAg3o1KbA

QUASI - Well, if Rudy is ready to run on the field, I'm ready too. Let's ring this sh&t!

HUGO - Now that is one sweet song.

FUZZY - I'll give Quasimodo a break on this one. At least he has good taste when it comes to football movies.

I'll see you guys later.

With it being warmer and the sun shining (at least on some days) I thought we’re take a look at 5 Cool Ice Cream Spots In Morris County, NJ.  These are in no particular order and are just 5 spots that serve great ice cream.  You may have a different shop you go to and that’s ok!

Ice Cream is so indulgent and fun.  On a warm Summer day it feels or should I say it tastes like it makes things even better.  There are so many different flavors to choose from, which keeps it exciting!  You may like the traditional flavors like Vanilla or Chocolate or maybe you prefer something off the beaten path like Moose Tracks.  Either way you can’t go wrong!

Plus, there’s the decision of whether you want soft serve or hard scooped out flavors.  Again that’s a matter of personal opinion.  I personally love a good cup of soft serve.  But then again, there are usually more flavors to pick from when you choose the hard type.

Once you’ve picked your flavor, it comes down to toppings.  And man are there a lot to choose from at some places.  It’s almost overwhelming.  From butterscotch or caramel to brownie bits and sprinkles, there is so much you can throw into your ice cream to jazz it up even more! I know some people who just go the plain route just to experience the flavor of the cream itself.  For instance, is there anything wrong with a cone of soft serve vanilla with absolutely nothing on it?

Again I love a good serving of vanilla with some butterscotch syrup poured on top and whipped cream to top it off.  But then again, there really isn’t a flavor of ice cream I would turn down!

How about we take a look at 5 Cool Ice Cream Spots in Morris County, NJ.

Again, in no particular order!

Their ice cream is so rich an creamy. It's absolutely delicious. Plus they have amazing ice cream cakes which you need to try once! https://www.denvilledairy.com/  

Great shop in Morristown.  They're open pretty late have close to 40 flavors all year.  It's awesome.  Try the Cinnamon Toast Crunch......man it's amazing! https://www.beeniesicecream.com/

Since 1975 Cliff's has been churning out awesome ice cream.  And a TON of flavors.  I love the look of the location, but what really matters is the taste of the ice cream.  And it's fantastic! https://www.cliffsicecream.com/  

Nice and creamy.  Some really great flavors and another place where you have to try one of their cakes!  You'll love it. https://www.taylorsicecreamparlor.com/

Stop in and try some really tasty ice cream.  Great service any time I've gone and their ice cream is wonderful!

https://a-js-country-cone.edan.io/