Fuzzy Adds Even More Confusion To the Ms. Marvel Saga
The whole Ms Marvel saga is full of confusion to begin with, even before Fuzzy adds his “interpretation” into the mix.
Ms. Marvel – Total Superhero
ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Erm, well, sort of.
It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.
FUZZY – It’s time to fracture another Marvel story – it’s Ms. Marvel, Total Superhero.
One night, Kamala Khan took a stroll by the Jersey City waterfront when the Terrigen Mist rolled in from the river, a gas that can activate superpowers from within.
KAMALA KHAN – Oh, dear. What is this stench that engulfs me? It smells like Thanos consumed the Hulk and the Green Goblin and farted death. Someone call the Space Balls to vacuum up this mist.
AUDIO – Now, commence operation, vacuusuck. Suck. Suck. Suck.
But aside from that, I feel strong. My DNA structure is changing. My limbs grow larger. I’m turning into a superhero!
And my superpower is?
I’m a human rubber band with elastic limbs. Well, this is a shi**y superpower.
FUZZY – Bummed out by her new abilities, she named herself Ms. Marvel as homage to her favorite superhero, Captain Marvel. As she walked home through a back alleyway, a crash was heard in the dumpster ahead of her.
MS. MARVEL – Where the hell are you, you f**ing flerken cat? I can’t believe you ran the way after I saved you from Moonstone.
Hey, look what I found, a bong! I should do more dumpster diving as a second job. You can find some awesome stuff that you could put on eBay.
KAMALA – Oh, dear. You’re Captain Marvel. I adore you. I just acquired superpowers too. My limbs can stretch long in a large like a rubber band. It’s not the greatest power, but I guess it will do.
MS. MARVEL – So you’re no different from the rubber glove. Look on the bright side. At least you can protect yourself from water damage causing your skin to wrinkle. Ha ha ha ha ha.
But I’m glad you’re here. I need your help locating a supervillain the Inventor. He’s a hybrid. Half-bird, half-man.
He’s been stealing Wakanda Tech. You want to help?
KAMALA – I would love to help you, Captain. Maybe he’s at the abandoned scrapyard. That’s where I’d go. The name’s Ms. Marvel, by the way.
MS. MARVEL – That’s great, Ms. Rubberglove. Let’s get the bird brain!
FUZZY – We’ll find out soon enough how this monstrosity ends.
Tune in next week for part two of Ms. Marvel on Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales.
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