Weird News – Weight Loss Aids and Killer Pirahnas
Various weight loss aids are always in the news, and invariably there’s always some kind of update that sounds too good to be true – pizza designed to help you lose those pesky pounds.
ANNOUNCER – Time now for WDHA’s Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee
Weight Loss Aids
FUZZY – Today in Weird News, the craze over popular drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy has inspired Nestle to launch a new foodline designed specifically for people using the weight loss aids.
The food giant plans to release 12 products under its new vital pursuit brand that will include frozen protein pasta, sandwich melts, and pizzas.
The company says all of the carefully portioned products will be high in protein, iron, vitamin A and potassium that are aligned to a weight loss medications user’s appetite.
Did anyone ever think the biggest reason for weight gain is just eating in general?
If there was a way to take a bacon cheeseburger and alter its properties to a liquid form, where I could just inject it into my arm like Ozempic, that’s the key. Keep the food out of the mouth and just inject it into the arm instead.
The problem is, transmuting a bacon cheeseburger to liquid form. That sounds like a job for Dr. Frankenstein.
And lastly in Weird News, a new Zealand man has landed in hot water after he jumped off a boat and body slammed an Orca.
A video taken by one of his friends showed a 50-year-old diving off a boat into a pod of killer whales and landing right on top of one of them.
He can be heard proudly saying that he touched it and then asked his friends if they caught it on video.
I wonder how proud he’ll be if those were killer piranhas. Those little freaks have an appetite for the weirdest body parts.
Just ask Jerry O’Connell.
When crap like that happens, it’s always good to have a well-trained lifeguard available to assist you, like David Hasselhoff.
Alright, so the moral of the story is, we’re all screwed.
Happy belated birthday to David Hasselhoff, who turned 72 last week.
And that’s DHA’s Weird News.
