Fuzzy Uses Shaving Cream To Fracture Disney’s Jungle Book
This week on Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales, we take a trip to the exotic world of Disney’s Jungle Book.
With Fuzzy as our guide, it’s probably best to expect the unexpected, and you might want to bring along some shaving cream.
Fuzzy Fractures Disney’s Jungle Book
ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Erm, well, sort of.
It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.
FUZZY – Time to fracture another new story. It’s the Jungle Book in the Dawn Patrol.
One day, Mowgli left the manned village to visit Baloo Bear in the jungle. The dry season is here, and there is a lack of water in the village as the river dried up. The people need help.
BALOO – There’s no need to be upset, Mowgli. The beavers built the damned black water from getting to the village. I’m sure we can work something out.
MOWGLI – I should have known a bunch of rodents would do this. Once I get a hold of the queen, I’m going to shave her big brown tail as smooth as my butt. Baloo, hand me a can of shaving cream and a razor.
BALOO – Mowgli, you’re supposed to be a naive boy in this episode. Not a hot, head-at-pervert with mental health issues. I have a better idea to deal with the problem. Let me call my friend, Colonel Hacey and the Dawn Patrol.
FUZZY – Mowgli and Baloo met with the Colonel and informed him of the problem. So they took a walk to the river to witness the obstacle created by the beavers, but the Dawn Patrol seems unmotivated to do anything.
COLONEL – Oh, I don’t know. This looks like a lot of work for us to break down the dam. Why not get your water from Poland Spring instead?
Get it? It’s a joke. Poland Spring, I’m so funny.
MOWGLI – Listen, you big brute. If you don’t do anything to help us, I’ll take a bottle of shaving cream and a razor and shave your big elephant.
BALOO – All right. Just hold it right there in my hot, head-at-pervert. As motivated as you are to shave something bald, I think I know how to motivate the Colonel.
FUZZY – Baloo dug into his pockets and pulled a couple of mice out. He then tossed them to the feet of the Colonel and the Dawn Patrol. A stampede started.
As they ran toward the dam, they broke right through out of fear.
BALOO – You see, Mowgli? That’s all you had to do. The dam is gone. Water is now flowing to the village and this episode is over all thanks to the Dawn Patrol.
MOWGLI – I guess you’re right, but I was looking forward to shaving something.
FUZZY – Mowgli sure has a weird fixation on shaving things. I’m quite happy too that this episode is over.
I’ll see you guys later.
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