Who’s Your Perfect Mate Based on Birth Order?

Some experts and psychologists believe that your birth order has a lot to do with finding your perfect mate. My mom talks about this all the time. It's really fascinating to think about, and honestly, looking at real-life situations, I tend to think these experts are right. So, who is your perfect mate based on birth order?

So, what's the "Birth Order Theory?" Austrian psychiatrist Alfred Adler proposed the idea in the early 20th century. The Birth Order Theory states that you exhibit certain traits and characteristics based on your birth order. For example, according to Drjen.com, some characteristics include firstborns craving "approval and attention," since "they often lose the full attention of their parents within the first four years of life." In turn, middle children tend to be able to adapt, according to Drjen.com, and youngest "have more leeway in life." With only children, parents might put pressure on the child and "have a high level of academic expectation," since it's their only child.

In general, the Birth Order Theory states that "firstborns develop a need for control and responsibility as adults—middle children tend to look for attention and affection—and lastborns have a penchant for rebellion and adventure," according to PureWow.com. So, the theory states that based on these sibling stereotypes and characteristics, you're best with either an oldest, middle, youngest or only child.

So, which combinations are the best and most compatible? Karen Stewart, PsyD, a psychologist based in California, tells Women's Health Magazine that firstborns and lastbornes are the most compatible of all. This is because the firstborn is used to having the role of "caretaker" and "aims to please, and they want someone who they can look after." She adds that the youngest is "used to being led and coddled." So, she adds that it's a familiar dynamic for both of them. She adds that firstborns and only children are also very compatible, because "an only child looks for someone who can take care of them at all times, which is one of the primary personality traits of a stereotypical eldest child." Also, she adds that only children don't like conflict, but firstborns do.

As for middleborns, Stewart says they're very compatible with bornfirsts, because the first born partner can be the leader and support system they wanted as a kid but perhaps didn't get. As for bad combinations, that same-birth orders are the least compatible of all the combinations. So, an oldest with an oldest, youngest with a youngest, middle with a middle and only child with an only child are supposedly not compatible. This is all very interesting, but if you're in love with someone with the same birth order, don't dump them. There are always beautiful exceptions to some rules.

Dating is nothing like it was a few decades ago. Heck, dating isn't anything like it was even just a few years ago, with all the different dating apps and online ways to find love. But, one thing hasn't changed: People still want to be appealing. They want to put their best foot forward in the dating world. So, what are some ways to be more attractive and appealing when you're on a date?

Actually, this list works even if you're not looking to date or are already are in a long-term relationship. Why not be as attractive as possible just for yourself? I'm not just talking about the physical, either. There's so much more to being an appealing person than looks alone. Dictionary.com has some definitions of attractive that show the broadness of this term. They say the word means "providing pleasure or delight, especially in appearance or manner" and add that words such as "pleasing, charming and alluring" all apply. They also use the word in the context of having "an attractive personality" or "arousing interest or engaging one's thought" and "consideration."

Of course, not all definitions are so broad. Some do come down to appearance and vanity. Vocabulary.com defines it as, "Anybody or anything that's attractive is visually pleasing or draws you in." They add that it also has to deal with attracting others, of course, and that, "for people, being attractive usually means you're beautiful or handsome enough to pull in the attention of others."

That said, in this list, I'm really focusing on ways to be an all-around attractive person. This is largely not a list about how to be physically prettier or more handsome. Sure, some of these tips are physical. But, for the most part, these are ways to be instantly attractive in the dating game and a more appealing person overall.

This one might seem odd. If you're trying to attract someone, why would you try to focus on them? But, it works. People like to feeling like the person their with is actually interested in them. It helps you actually be an attractive person if it isn't always about you and if you focus on your partner, date or friend.

Sure, you want to look good on your date. But, if you're wearing heels that are too high or pants that look cool but just don't fit, you might be uncomfortable, and that will make the other person uncomfortable. "The most important thing is that you feel comfortable in what you are wearing. If you are not comfortable, it will show in your body language and your date will be able to tell," says Houseofcoco.net.

Everyone always talks about confidence being attractive, and they're not wrong. Being confident in yourself is a very attractive quality. You don't need to be an egomaniac or anything, though. No bragging fests on a first date. Just, be confident in who you are and in the spectacular, rock star of a person that God created you to be.

This goes along with confidence. Just be you, because nobody else can be you. "As cheesy as it sounds, the most important thing you can do on a date is to look and act like your authentic self," notes Southerntide.com.

This is a tricky one. I'm not a big fan of perfume. But, it's good to smell nice on a date. That said, do not - I repeat, to not - overdue it. There's really no bigger turnoff than someone who smells like they just took a dive into a pool of really strong perfume or cologne. Less is more.

Show off those pearly whites! Something as simple as smiling can make you instantly appear attractive, because it implies that you're happy on both the outside and inside. No RBF, please. Smiling is contiguous, too, in the best possible way.

Your mom was right when she told you to sit up straight. "Slouching makes you look unconfident and bored, neither of which are attractive qualities," notes Houseofcoco.net. "Sit up straight and make sure your shoulders are back. It will make you look more confident and alert, two qualities that are sure to impress your date."

Dating and socializing is supposed to be fun. Humans were meant to be together in a community, and that's a good thing. So, just have fun on your date. Be playful. Laugh. Flirt. Wink. Okay, maybe don't wink. That's creepy. But, you can send a wink emoji. Simply have fun.