Watch Out For Sheep On the Roof

When you go outside, the last thing you expect to find is sheep on the roof of your house.

That is, until Michael Fuzzy Lee gets a hold of the stories for this week’s edition of Weird News.

ANNOUNCER – Time now for WDHA’s Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.

FUZZY – Today in Weird News, a British woman who had a bad feeling after hearing a strange noise on her roof was shocked to find out what was the cause.

The woman and her husband were both awakened by the sound echoing through the house. They went outside expecting to confront a burglar, but when she looked up, she saw four sheep staring down at her instead.

Apparently, the home, which the couple moved into just over a year ago, is partially submerged into a hillside, which allowed the sheep to simply walk onto the roof.

I did obtain a clip recorded from a security camera in the home, so let’s roll it.

LADY – Honey, I hear a strange sound outside. It may be a burglar. Get the flashlight. Let’s go.

MAN – A burglar? We live in the hillside area, sweetie. The only burglars here are raccoons. Damn furball stole my pumpkin spice donut. They don’t make those year-round, you know.

LADY – Oh would you shut up and follow me? And would you get your hand off my ass.

MAN – Oh, I’m sorry. I thought it was a pillow.

LADY – Look up! There it is! I see it!

MAN – It’s a bird….

LADY – It’s a plane….

MAN & LADY – It’s a…sheep?

MAN – Oh, man, for a moment there, I thought Superman was real. I was hoping he would get that donut back from that damn raccoon.

And where did this music comes from anyway? Damn it, Alexa, would you shut that s**t off. It’s a false alarm.

FUZZY – Well, that blows. For a moment there, I thought it was Superman too. Oh, well.

And this just-in breaking story coming to the Weird News desk.

Apparently, a nine-year-old New York boy thought he cleverly got out of going to school until he was caught playing hooky by a news helicopter.

So let’s go live with Poppa Woody who was on this scene.

So Poppa, are you the one who caught this kid playing hooky and turned him in?

POPPA – Well, thanks for having me on today, Mr. Fuzzy. Yeah, that was me all right.

These kids today, they all think they’re so smart. You want to know where the fault lies? With the parents.

If they spent a little more time with their kids, teaching them right or wrong, instead of spending all their time at a local bar getting drunk with some guy named Harry Johnson, with his mouth over the tap dispenser drinking the flavor of the month, every minute of the day, these kids will have a better future.

I swear, Mr. Fuzzy, these parents are a bunch of d***e bags.

Can you hold on a moment? My phone is going off?

Hello?

Hello there, brother.

Yes, this is Poppa Woody.

Yes, I have a nine-year-old son.

Where is he?

Well, that tiny turd should be at school.

He’s at a police station because some guy turned him in for playing hooky? Why that stupid little….

All right, I’m coming in now.

And if you have any of those seasonal left-hand nitro beers, I’ll definitely take one of those because I plan on using my right hand to pop him over the head when I see him, so you let him know about that, all right?

I’m sorry, Mr. Fuzzy. I got to go and report on another story that’s just as bad as this story.

This is Poppa Woody signing off.

FUZZY – Thanks, Poppa.

And speaking of seasonal, maybe I’ll try one of those nitro pumpkin spice beers that actually sounds really good about now.

And that’s DHA’s Weird News.

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