Who Knew Dealing With Cold Cuts Could Be Like Splitting An Atom
Welcome to another edition of Facebook Theater – private drama performed publicly because We. Just. Need. You. To. Know.
Today’s episode includes speed traps, nude beaches, and a choice between a cold cut slice and a bran muffin that makes splitting an atom seem easy.
- I might not be able to remember what I ate for dinner last night but I can warn you about every single spot where a state trooper sits all the way up and down the Garden State Parkway. My next trick will be to monetize that s&*t.
- Talk about an eye-opening experience! Today is the five year anniversary of the time I accidentally took my kids to the nudist beach while on family vacation in San Diego. I can still hear my son – “Uh mom…I don’t think we’re supposed to be here.”
- If you are curious about my Monday, it was ruined by a slice of f#&@ing honey maple turkey. Some world we live in where a f#&@ing cold cut dictates how your day is going to go. I had to sit there for 15 minutes like f#&@ing Oppenheimer trying to remove the turkey from the parchment paper just to put it on the seedless roll. I think I’ll choose the brand muffin next time.
We don’t know about you but the Oppenheimer reference is an absolute classic!
And if there’s a way to monetize New Jersey State Police speed trap locations on the Garden State Parkway, we have NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER that it will get done!