What If Opposites Don’t Really Attract and Having Similar Traits is Better?
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. I’m happy not to be in the dating game. It seems so tough. Approaching people in bars. Swiping on certain apps. I met my wife many years ago, we dated, got engaged, got married, and had two kids.
Thankfully she still puts up with me. And according to some new research, there might be a good reason why. Maybe Opposites Don’t Really Attract and Having Similar Traits is Better?
I’m sure you’re familiar with the phrase “Opposites Attract.” This is where two people, who seemingly have nothing in common, find each other irresistible, and a relationship blossoms. I’ve always thought that sounded tough.
My wife and I share so many of the same interests, have many of the same views and values and I feel like that only helps our relationship. It strengthens it.
And, according to some recent data revealed by The Guardian, I might not be wrong. As I said, Maybe Opposites Don’t Really Attract, and Having Similar Traits is Better.
A study by nature.com on romantic relationships found that for more than 80% of traits analyzed – from political views to drug taking and the age at which people first had sex – partners were usually quite similar. According to the research, between 82% and 89% of traits examined were similar among partners, with only 3% ranking as substantially different.
There were many different traits that were studied in this research. Couples largely matched across a huge number of them including political and religious views, levels of education, and some measures of IQ. Heavy smokers, heavy drinkers, and teetotalers all tended to partner up with people who shared their habits.
Now, that’s not to say 2 individuals that are opposites can’t pair up and make it work. I’ve just found that sharing the same traits or views on things has really helped strengthen my relationship with my wife.
Are you bucking the trend with your partner? Are you both very different from one another? Maybe so, and that’s ok. Just don’t go out of your way to find someone who’s your opposite, because this research shows it might not be the best fit!