Fuzzy Introduces Captain Marvel to the Schwartz With Predictable Results

Author Jim Monaghan

October 17th, 2023 8:49 AM

Captain Marvel meets the Schwartz in this exciting (?) conclusion. Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales explores new pop culture territory in today’s episode.

ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Well, sort of. It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning jolt.

Previously on Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales – Damn it! Moonstone stole my cat. War Machine, I need help tracking that interstellar Floozie. I tracked her Winnebago on the planet Vega. Happy to help.

FUZZY – And now, the conclusion of Captain Marvel and the Missing Flerken. As Captain Marvel flew to planet Vega, she spotted the Winnebago on the surface. Determined to save her cat, aka Flerken from Moonstone, she blasted her way through the door.

CAPTAIN MARRVEL – Alright, Moonstone, hand over my f&#king flerken or I’ll…. Wait a minute. You’re not Moonstone. You’re a spaceball?

BARF – Spaceballs? There goes the planet. Hello, I’m Barf. Thanks for blasting the door. My wife wanted me to paint it. Now it’s one less thing to worry about.

CAPTAIN MARVEL – Your wife? What happened to your Lone Stank friend?
BARF – Oh, Lone Star, you mean? He died some time ago. He ate the special of the day at Galaxy Grill Diner. Remember? The alien came out of the other guy? The same thing happened to Lone Star. Just stick to the soup, I say.

Oh, no, not again.

BARF – Today I’m teaching my wife the Way of the Schwartz. If she doesn’t flatten my feet with a huge yogurt statue like Lone Star did the Schwartz will be with her always.

Yes, the Schwartz.

BARF – Come out, honey, and meet my new friend who took care of the door for me.

FUZZY – As Barf’s wife came from the back of the Winnebago Captain Marvel’s cat popped her head out from behind a chair. Captain’s eyes blazed with fire. She quickly turned and blasted the edge of the doorway where Moonstone stood.

MOONSTONE – Damn it, Marvel. What are you doing here? And why are you always so angry?
CAPTAIN MARVEL – You took Chewie away from me and I’m taking her back.
MOONSTONE – By all means, take your flerken cat. She’s a menace to society. She ate all the food, including the last can of liquid Schwartz. We’re stranded here. And by the way, could you give us a ride to the Galaxy Diner? I’m starving.
CAPTAIN MARVEL – Fine. I highly recommend the special of the day. I hear it’s to die for.

FUZZY – That’s pretty smart. Why engage in an epic battle scene if you could take your arch nemesis out for a deadly lunch instead?

Actors Who Appeared in Both DC and Marvel Movies

• Zoe Saldana

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  Saldana has spent the last several years in the MCU, but she was in a DC movie called 'The Losers' before that. Saldana made her MCU debut in 'Guardians of the Galaxy' as Gamora and reprised the role in the sequel and the last two Avengers films. She will be returning to the role for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 as a Gamora from an alternate timeline.

• Zoe Kravitz

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  Kravitz played Angel Salvadore in 'X-Men: First Class,' while she voiced Mary Jane Watson in 'Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.' Kravitz also played Catwoman in 'The Lego Batman Movie' and, coincidentally, also played Catwoman in 'The Batman' movie alongside Robert Pattinson.

• Zazie Beetz

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  Zazie made her first appearance playing Domino in 'Deadpool 2' alongside Ryan Reynolds. A year later, Beetz starred as Sophie Dumond in 'Joker' alongside Joaquin Phoenix.
• Zachary Levi

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  Levi replaced Josh Dallas as Fandral in 'Thor: The Dark World' and returned briefly in 'Thor: Ragnarok.' Most recently, he plays the lead role in 'Shazam!' and will return to star in the sequel, 'Shazam! 2.'

• Willem Dafoe

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  Dafoe played Norman Osborn AKA the Green Goblin in Sony's 'Spider-Man' franchise, later reprising his role for 'Spider-Man: No Way Home.' Defoe also played Vulko in both 'Aquaman' and 'Zack Snyder's Justice League.'

• Vincent Regan

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  Regan appeared in 'Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance' as Toma Nikasevic. More recently, Regan is set to appear in 'Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom' as Atlan, the first king of Atlantis.
• Troy Baker

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  Baker is a highly prolific voice actor who has lent his voice talents to numerous animated projects. For Marvel, Baker voiced Hawkeye and Kraven the Hunter in various projects such as 'Ultimate Spider-Man,' 'Marvel’s Spider-Man,' and the anime film 'Iron Man: Rise of Technovore.' For DC, Baker has voiced both Batman and the Joker in 'Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' and 'Batman: The Long Halloween.'

• Tommy Lee Jones

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  Tommy Lee Jones played Harvey Dent AKA Two-Face in 'Batman Forever.' Jones later joined the MCU to play Colonel Phillips in the first Captain America movie.

• Tom Hardy

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  Hardy has already played two major DC and Marvel characters. His first outing came when he played Batman's nemesis Bane in 'The Dark Knight Rises.' Hardy has since joined Marvel with the 'Venom' franchise as Eddie Brock. He also appeared in the 'Spider-Man: No Way Home' post-credits scene.
• Tilda Swinton

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  Swinton originally joined DC instead of Marvel portraying Gabriel in Keanu Reeves' 'Constantine' back in 2005. She has since moved to the MCU as the Ancient One in 'Doctor Strange.' She later returned in 'Avengers: Endgame' thanks to time travel after her character died in 'Doctor Strange.'

• Terence Stamp

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  Stamp's first appearance came in 'Superman,' where he played the villainous General Zod. A few years later, he reappeared in 'Superman II.' 25 years later, Stamp made an appearance in a Marvel movie as Stick in 'Elektra.'

• Taika Waititi

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  Waititi had a role in 'Green Lantern,' where he played Hal's best friend Tom Kalmaku. Waititi then played the role of Korg in 'Thor: Ragnarok' and reprised it for 'Avengers: Endgame' and 'Thor: Love and Thunder.' He returned to DC for a brief cameo in 'The Suicide Squad' as Ratcatcher in a flashback giving a life lesson to his daughter, Ratcatcher 2.
• Sylvester Stallone

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  Sly debuted in the MCU in 'Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2' in a small role as the ravager captain Stakar Ogord. He then went on to appear in Gunn's 'The Suicide Squad' as the voice for King Shark.

• Steve Blum

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  For DC, Blum’s roles include the sins of Envy and Gluttony in 'Shazam!' and Solomon Grundy in the upcoming animated film 'Catwoman: Hunted.' With Marvel, Blum provided the voice of Wolverine in multiple projects such as 'Wolverine and the X-Men,' the direct-to-video animated movie 'Hulk Vs.' and the Green Goblin in 'The Spectacular Spider-Man' cartoon.

• Sean Gunn

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  Director James Gunn casted his brother Sean in The Suicide Squad as the freaky Weasel. He also makes a brief cameo as Calendar Man. In the 'Guardians of the Galaxy' movies, Gunn plays Kraglin, the first mate in the Yondu Ravager Clan.
• Ryan Reynolds

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  Reynolds' first Marvel role was as Hannibal King in 'Blade: Trinity,' but he then played Hal Jordan in DC's horrible 'Green Lantern.' He eventually redeemed himself in a starring role in Marvel's 'Deadpool' franchise, he played a much different-looking version of the character in 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine.'

• Russell Crowe

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  In 2013, Crowe played Jor-El in 'Man of Steel.' Nearly a decade later, Crowe entered the MCU as Zeus in 'Thor: Love and Thunder.'

• Reid Scott

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  Scott plays Dan Lewis, Anne Weying’s boyfriend, and later fiance, in both 'Venom' and 'Venom: Let There Be Carnage.' Additionally, Scott voiced both Green Arrow and Victor Zsasz in the animated movie 'Injustice.'
• Randall Park

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  In 2018, Park played Agent Jimmy Woo in 'Ant-Man and The Wasp' and appeared in 'Aquaman' the same year as Dr. Stephen Shin. Park is expected to reprise both of these roles in the future, but so far, Woo has only reappeared in 'WandaVision.'

• Rachel Weisz

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  Weisz first appeared in 2005's 'Constantine' as Angela Dodson. In 2021, Weisz made her MCU debut as she crossed over to appear as Melina, Natasha Romanoff's deep-cover mother, in 'Black Widow.'

• Pom Klementieff

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  Pom plays Mantis, Star-Lord's sister in the 'Guardians of the Galaxy' series. Her first DC appearance was in an extremely brief and uncredited cameo in 'The Suicide Squad' as a dancer in a bar that the main group visited in Corto Maltese.
• Patton Oswalt

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  In 2004, Patton Oswalt played Hedges in Marvel's 'Blade: Trinity.' He played Billy Koenig on 'Agents of SHIELD' as well as Pip the Troll in 'Eternals.' For DC, Oswalt voiced the Atom in the animated 'Teen Titans Go! To The Movies,' which he later reprised for the series.

• Nicolas Cage

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  For Marvel, Cage played Johnny Blaze AKA Ghost Rider for 'Ghost Rider' and 'Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.' He later voiced "Spider-Man Noir" for "Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse." For DC, he voiced Superman in the animated 'Teen Titans Go! To The Movies,' a reference to the fact that he'd been rumored to be playing Superman in a film for years (it never happened).

• Nathan Fillion

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  Fillion has voiced multiple DC characters in animated adaptations in the past, including Wonder Woman's love interest Steve Trevor and Green Lantern in 'Green Lantern: Emerald Knights.' He also made a brief and hilarious appearance at the start of 'The Suicide Squad' as T.D.K. or "The Detachable Kid." For Marvel, he voiced an inmate in the first 'Guardians of the Galaxy.'
• Natasha Lyonne

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  Lyonne's first notable superhero role was in 2004’s 'Blade: Trinity' as the blind Nightstalker Sommerfield. Lyonne also starred in 'DC League of Super-Pets' as Terrific Whatzit.

• Natalie Portman

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  Portman played Evey in DC's 'V for Vendetta.' A few years later, she made the transition to the MCU to play Jane Foster. She made her debut in the first 'Thor' film.

• Michelle Pfeiffer

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  Pfeiffer made her DC debut in 'Batman Returns' as Catwoman. Years later, she joined the MCU to play Janet van Dyne, the original Wasp. She first appeared in 'Ant-Man and The Wasp' and will also be in 'And-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania.'
• Michael Rooker

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  Rooker played Yondu Udonta in 'Guardians of the Galaxy,' a role that he reprised in Marvel's 'What If...?' In DC's 'The Suicide Squad,' Rooker cameoed as Savant.

• Michael Keaton

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  Keaton made his DC debut in Tim Burton's 1989 'Batman' movie and reprised it years later for 'Batman Returns.' Decades later, Keaton joined the MCU to play Adrian Toomes AKA Vulture in 'Spider-Man: Homecoming,' reprising that role in 'Morbius.' He returns as Batman in 'The Flash.'

• Michael Fassbender

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  Fassbender played Burke in DC's 2010 'Jonah Hex.' The following year, he made the jump to Marvel to play Magneto in the 'X-Men' movie and its subsequent sequels.
• Michael Clarke Duncan

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  Duncan joined his first superhero movie in 2003 as the Kingpin in Marvel's 'Daredevil.' Several years later, Duncan provided the voice for Kilowog in DC's 'Green Lantern.'

• Mark Hamill

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  For Marvel, Hamill voiced Dr. Oiler in the animated film 'Ultimate Avengers 2: Rise of the Panther.' For DC, he voiced the Joker in the DC Animated Universe, including for 'Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker.' He later reprised the role for 'Batman: The Killing Joke.'

• Lucy Liu

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  Liu will make her first DC appearance in 'Shazam! Fury of the Gods' as the villainous god Kalypso. Before that, she directed an episode of Marvel's 'Luke Cage' series. OK, technically she didn't "appear" in a Marvel show or movie but at least she got paychecks from both DC and Marvel!
• Linda Cardellini

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  Linda Cardellini plays Hawkeye’s wife, Laura Barton, who is also a former SHIELD agent. Several years before being cast as Laura, Cardellini had a small part in the animated adaptation of 'All-Star Superman,' playing Lex Luthor’s niece and assistant Nasthalthia.

• Laurence Fishburne

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  Fishburne's first Marvel credit comes from his voice acting as Silver Surfer in 'Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.' He then joined DC to play Daily Planet's Perry White in 'Justice League.' He made his DCEU debut in 'Man of Steel' and then returned for 'Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.' Fishburne later joined the MCU to play Bill Foster in 'Ant-Man and The Wasp.'

• Josh Brolin

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  Brolin's first DC role was as the lead of 'Jonah Hex' in 2010. Moving to Marvel, he played Thanos, and also played Cable in 'Deadpool 2.'
• Jon Favreau

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  Favreau directed and starred in 'Iron Man' as Happy Hogan. He appeared in various MCU films ever since as the character. Favreau had a small part as one of Bruce Wayne’s assistants in 'Batman Forever.'

• Joe Manganiello

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  Remember when Manganiello entered the superhero movie world in 'Spider-Man' as bully Flash Thompson? Though he didn't return for the sequel, he was back for 'Spider-Man 3.' More recently, Manganiello came to DC to make an uncredited cameo as Slade Wilson AKA Deathstroke in 'Justice League.'

• J.K. Simmons

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  JK Simmons began his time in superhero movies in Sony's 'Spider-Man' trilogy as J. Jonah Jameson, the bad-tempered boss of the 'Daily Bugle.' After the trilogy ended, Simmons moved to DC to play Commissioner Jim Gordon in 'Justice League. However, Simmons has reprised his role as J. Jonah Jameson by playing an alternate version of the character in the MCU from 'Spider-Man: Far From Home' onward.
• Jared Leto

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  First appearing in 'Suicide Squad' as The Joker, he later returned in 'Zack Snyder's Justice League.' In 2022, Leto entered the MCU as the lead in 'Morbius.' All of these roles Leto played were heavily criticized by fans.

• James Marsden

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  Marsden joined his first superhero movie in 2000 when he played Cyclops in 'X-Men.' He returned to play the role in the two sequels before temporarily moving to DC. Marsden then played Perry White's son Richard in 'Superman Returns.' He later reprised his role as Cyclops in the (for now) non-MCU 'X-Men: Days of Future Past.'

• Idris Elba

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  Elba played Roque in DC's 2010 'The Losers' movie before making his MCU debut as Heimdall in 2011's 'Thor.' Elba then appeared in a non-MCU movie as Moreau in 'Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance,' but then returned as Heimdall in both 'Thor' sequels and 'Avengers: Infinity War' — where his character died. While Heimdall might be dead, his character appeared in 'Thor: Love and Thunder's post-credits scene. Elba also returned to DC in 2021 as Bloodsport in James Gunn's 'The Suicide Squad.'
• Hugo Weaving

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  Weaving starred in DC's 'V for Vendetta.' He later played Red Skull in 'Captain America: The First Avenger' but did not reprise the role during the character's appearances in 'Avengers: Endgame' or 'Marvel's What If...?'

• Halle Berry

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  You may know Halle Berry best for her portrayal as Storm in the 'X-Men' series. Before finishing the trilogy, she jumped to DC to play Catwoman -- another iconic comic book role (but a terrible movie).

• Fred Tatasciore

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  Tatasciore voiced Jim Gordon’s corrupt partner Arnold Flass in the animated films 'Batman: Year One,' Gorilla Grodd in 'Batman Ninja,' and Lex Luthor in 'JLA Adventures: Trapped in Time.' For Marvel, Tatasciore is most often cast as the Hulk in animated projects like 'Ultimate Avengers' and 'Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher.'
• Florence Kasumba

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  Kasumba has played Ayo of the Dora Milaje starting from 'Captain America: Civil War,' reappearing in 'The Falcon and the Winter Soldier' and in both 'Black Panther' films. For DC, she played the Amazon warrior Acantha in 'Wonder Woman.'

• Faran Tahir

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  In 2008, Tahir was in 'Iron Man' as Raza, the Ten Rings commander who was hired by Obadiah Stane to kill Tony Stark. More recently, Tahir voiced Ra’s al Ghul in DC’s 'Injustice.'

• Doug Jones

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  Jones’ first appearance in a DC film was in 'Batman Returns,' in a minor role as one of Penguin’s henchmen, the Thin Clown. Years later, Jones he played the Silver Surfer in the 'Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer' movie, though Laurence Fishburne voiced the character.
• Djimon Hounsou

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  Hounsou played a lot of roles for both DC and Marvel, getting his start as Midnite in DC's 'Constantine.' Hounsou then moved to the MCU to play Korath in 'Guardians of the Galaxy.' He later returned to DC to voice King Ricou in 'Aquaman,' then played Korath again in 'Captain Marvel,' and most recently jumped back to DC to play The Wizard in 'Shazam!'

• David Harbour

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  Harbour first entered DC with his portrayal of Dexter Tolliver in the 2016 'Suicide Squad.' He then went to the MCU as the Russian supersoldier Red Guardian in 'Black Widow.' He also appeared in the 2019 'Hellboy' movie reboot. However, while the character has appeared in DC crossovers, the character himself belongs to neither Marvel nor DC.

• David Dastmalchian

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  Dastmalchian's first comic book role was as one of Joker's thugs in 'The Dark Knight.' He entered the MCU in 2015's 'Ant-Man' as one of Paul Rudd's sidekicks and reprised the role in the sequel. He returned to DC to play Abra Kadabra in the CW TV show 'The Flash' and was later cast in 'The Suicide Squad' as Polka-Dot Man.
• Danny Huston

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  Huston played a younger version of Stryker in 2009's 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine.' He then joined the cast of 'Wonder Woman' to play the German General Ludendorff.

• Clancy Brown

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  Though Brown hasn't physically appeared in either universe, he voiced Parallax in DC's 'Green Lantern.' Years later, he joined the cast of 'Thor: Ragnarok' as the voice of Surtur. Back in 1996, he voiced Sasquatch for an episode in 'The Incredible Hulk' TV series.

• Ciarán Hinds

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  Hinds has been cast as a villain in both DC and Marvel movies. With Marvel, he played Mephisto in 'Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.' More recently, Hinds was the voice of Steppenwolf in 'Justice League,' later reprising the role in Zack Snyder's new cut of the film.
• Chukwudi Iwuji

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  Iwuji made his DC debut as Clemson Murn in 'Peacemaker.' Iwuji will also join the MCU, where he'll play High Evolutionary, the main antagonist of 'Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3.'

• Christian Bale

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  Bale played one of the best Batmans in 'The Dark Knight Trilogy' in the eponymous role. Starting out with 'Batman Begins' in 2005, he returned for 'The Dark Knight' and 'The Dark Knight Rises' before retiring from the role. In 2022, Bale made his first appearance in a Marvel movie as Gorr the God Butcher in 'Thor: Love and Thunder.'

• Chris Pine

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  Pine played Steve Trevor in 'Wonder Woman' and 'Wonder Woman 1984,' even though his character died in the original film. Pine also provided the voice for Peter Parker in 'Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.'
• Chris Evans

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  Evans is best known for his MCU superhero role as Captain America, but he played other comic book characters before then. Evans played Johnny Storm AKA Human Torch in the 'Fantastic Four' films. Then, he played Jensen in 'The Losers.'

• Brian Tyree Henry

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  In DC's 'Joker,' Henry played an Arkham clerk named Carl. Henry was then the voice of Miles Morales' father, Jefferson Davis, in 'Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.' He then fully appeared in the MCU as Phastos in 'Eternals.'

• Brett Cullen

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  Cullen played Barton Blaze, the father of Johnny Blaze, in 'Ghost Rider.' He then switched to DC to play a congressman in 'The Dark Knight Rises' before playing Thomas Wayne in 'Joker' a few years later.
• Ben Mendelsohn

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  Mendelsohn played Daggett, the owner of a construction company Dagget Industries and later tried to take control of Wayne Enterprises with Bane's help in 'The Dark Knight Rises.' He joined the MCU a few years later as the Skrull Talos in 'Captain Marvel.' The following year, Mendelsohn played the character in a cameo in 'Spider-Man: Far From Home' and he'll reprise the role in 2023 in 'Secret Invasion.'

• Ben Affleck

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  Affleck first played a superhero in 2003's 'Daredevi'l as the blind lawyer Matt Murdock. Over a decade later, Affleck joined DC as the next Batman in 'Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice' and cameoed in 'Suicide Squad.' Affleck later starred in both 'Justice League' and 'Zack Snyder's Justice League,' and he is set to return as Batman in 'The Flash' and 'Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom.'

• Angela Bassett

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  In DC's 'Green Lantern,' Bassett played Dr. Amanda Waller. She then joined the MCU in 2018 as Black Panther's mother Ramonda. She has appeared in both 'Black Panther' films and 'Avengers: Endgame.'
• Alice Braga

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  In the 'X-Men' film franchise 'The New Mutants,' Braga played Cecilia Reyes, an agent of Essex Corp who recruits the main characters into the organization. More recently, she had a part in 'The Suicide Squad' as Sol Soria, the leader of the resistance in Corto Maltese.

• Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

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  Akinnuoye-Agbaje first appeared in 'Thor: The Dark World' where he played the Dark Elf named Algrim. He then played Killer Croc in 2016's 'Suicide Squad.'

• Adam Beach

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  In 2016, Beach played Slipknot in 'Suicide Squad.' More recently, he was in 'The New Mutants' movie as Dani Moonstar’s father William Lonestar. His character was killed in both roles.

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Author Jim Monaghan

Category:

• WDHA Morning Jolt

Tags:

Fuzzy's Fractured Fairy Tales,Michael Fuzzy Lee