Fuzzy Fractures the Story of Nemo and Doty
It was only a matter of time before Fuzzy took his Fractured Fairy Tales Franchise in the direction of Disney, Nemo, and Doty.
The results are about what you would expect.
Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales – Finding Nemo
ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Well, sort of. It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.
FUZZY – And good morning, everyone. Let’s just jump into today’s episode, Finding Nemo. It’s Ne-who?
Deep in the great Barrier Reef lived an orange and white striped clownfish named Nemo. Upon returning home, he was welcomed by the sounds of Dory a blue tang fish with his head in the refrigerator.
DORY – Dang it. All we have to eat is stale goldfish flakes. Do I look like a skinny goldfish? I got an appetite of a f***ing whale shark, for goodness sakes.
NEMO – Hey, Dory. It’s good to see you. Are you feeling okay? Your voice sounds a lot like Frank the plant from the Harley Quinn series.
DORY – And you sound like a nasally Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. You punk. Who the hell are you, you shrimpy little thing? I only know big guys like Jaws who likes to feast on humans. Hank the octopus, who’s always wrapping his tentacles around someone, the pervert that he is. And Fishface from the Power Rangers. He’s always plotting revenge.
POWER RANGERS AUDIO – I thank you for joining us, Rangers. Now I can get rid of all of you. Don’t mess with the fish.
NEMO – But, Dory, it’s me, Nemo. You helped find my dad. Remember? The big orange guy with the three white stripes? He kinda looks like me.
FUZZY – As Dory scratched his head with his fin, he couldn’t remember a thing. Either he suffers from memory loss or Nemo is playing a trick on him in the form of a riddle.
DORY – A Ne-who? Listen, bi**h, if your name was Pepperidge Farm, I’ll believe you, ’cause you look like a goldfish cracker. And by the way, I prefer cheddar flavor. They’re delicious. And since you like asking questions like the Riddler would from the DC Universe riddle me this, boy wonder. If the fish lived on land, where would they.
DORY – Ah. Is it Finland?
BATMAN AUDIO – Correct, Boy Wonder.
DORY – You truly are a scholar, Mr. Ne-who. And as a parting gift, here’s a one way ticket to Finland. Now get the f**k out of here before I devour you like the scrumptious cracker that you are. Okay?
FUZZY – I’m actually starting to feel a little hungry myself for Pepperidge Farm goldfish crackers. Let me head on down to the food store and I’ll see you guys next week.
MORE FUZZY’S FRACTURED FAIRY TALES
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