The Little Mermaid and Flounder Have A Thing Going On
When my daughters were both little, The Little Mermaid was one of their favorite movies.
With characters like Ariel, Flounder, Prince Eric, and Sebastian, plus an assortment of a catchy songs, who could resist the charm of this Disney offering?
Let’s just say that the one and (thankfully) only Executive Producer Michael Fuzzy Lee might fall into that category.
His dismantling of Ariel and her friends is a real head-scratcher.
Fuzzy Fractures the Little Mermaid
ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Well, sort of.
It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.
FUZZY – And good morning everyone, let’s jump into today’s story, The Little Mermaid, A Fish In the Box.
On one summer morning, deep in the ocean trenches, Flounder, a type of flatfish, was waiting for Ariel at her secret grotto.
He gazed at her private collection of items from the human world.
FLOUNDER – Damn that Little Mermaid b**ch for making me wait in her secret grotto. I should be waiting for her in her secret seashell if you know what I mean.
I’ll get lantern fish for the mood lighting, sirens to sing some sweet melodies. Oh yeah, cha-ching, cha-ching.
What’s this? A copy of Splash, the movie from 1984? Didn’t they stick that motherf***er Tom Hanks in a fish tank to see if he’s a mermaid?
Tom Hanks Has A Few Words
Yeah, I thought so.
What’s this? An entire collection of jackrabbit g-spot vibrators? Wo-ho-ho! It looks like that little Mermaid’s a little minx.
Though not hit me in the j**t, I think I felt my fin grow longer. And what’s this thing over here?
FUZZY – As Flounder swam to the rock ledge, he finds a square box with the handle on the side.
He turned the handle a few times with his Finn, and the spring-loaded jester popped out launching him backward.
He collided with the lid of an open treasure chest before it closed and trapped him inside. Ariel finally arrives.
ARIEL – Flounder is that you? Where are you?
FLOUNDER – I’m in here, b**ch!
ARIEL – Damn it, Flounder. Why do you have to be so nosy and touch my things?
FUZZY – As Ariel approaches the treasure chest, she lifts the lid and rescues her friend from inside.
But a thought did cross her mind as she opened it.
ARIEL – Oh, Flounder, why does stuff like this always happen to you? Here’s a little advice. Be more like Justin Timberlake and Andy Sandberg. Be a **ck in the box, not a fish in the box.
FLOUNDER – How about I do you one better? I’ll be your fin the box, you little minx, because it just grew 45 seconds ago.
FUZZY – Hmm, I’m starting to sense that they are a little bit more than just friends because they do share the same potty mouth. I wonder.
MORE FUZZY’S FRACTURED FAIRY TALES
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