The Simpsons and Seinfeld Collide On Weird News
With special guest appearances by the case of The Simpsons and Seinfeld, you know that it’s an extra-special episode of WDHA’s Weird News.
Weird News – Special Guest Barney From The Simpsons
ANNOUNCER – Time now for WDHA’s Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.
FUZZY – Today in Weird News, a 35-year-old Texas woman was a passenger in the car that was pulled over by the police.
When cops questioned her, she told him she had outstanding warrants for failing to appear in court on a drug possession charge.
Officers noted her t-shirt, which read, “D.A.R.E. – Keeping Kids Off Drugs.”
They also searched the vehicle and found cocaine, a scale, and unused plastic baggies that are consistent with the ones used for packaging and distributing narcotics. She was arrested and booked for drug possession.
Well, this is kind of an ironic story.
It’s like Barney from The Simpsons wearing an alcoholic anonymous t-shirt who can’t get past step number one, which is amending your powerless over alcohol, and that your life is unmanageable.
SIMPSONS AUDIO – Well, I’m off to market!
FUZZY – Yeah, Barney dressing up as Marge falling over the banister. He has quite an interesting history, and I don’t think a t-shirt is going to save him, nor would a Shirley Temple either.
And lastly in Weird News, the Prime Minister of New Zealand announced a plan that will make farmers pay for their livestock’s gas emissions in an effort to combat climate change.
Methane emitted by cows and other farm animals accounts for about half of New Zealand’s gas emissions.
The tax isn’t intended to punish farmers, but instead meant to incentivize them to do a better job of reducing emissions.
And the tax dollars collected will be recycled back into the agricultural sector through new technology, research, and incentive payments to farmers.
Oh, please!
How do you enforce this and determine what a farmer has to pay?
Do you hire the animal gas patrol to sniff out a horse’s butt and monitor the emissions?
Just be careful of what you feed them!
Another Special Guest – the Cast of Seinfeld
SEINFELD AUDIO – What the hell happened?
The horse is gassy, it must have been the Beef-a-reeno.
You fed the horse Beef-a-reeno?
Well, I overbought.
FUZZY – Yeah, Beef-a-reeno might not be the best way to go.
What the farmers should do is urge their leadership for farmers in animals’ reduction tax. Fart, for sure, since that’s what this is all about.
And that’s DHA’s Weird News.
FUZZY – Aw, shucks. That is kind of a bummer for a kid, and that’s DHA’s Weird News.
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