Skip to Search Skip to Live Player Skip to Content Skip to Footer

WDHA Morning Jolt

WDHA Morning Jolt

WDHA Morning Jolt

Helpful Negotiation Tips from Al Bundy

Author Jim Monaghan

Todays’ Weird News segment serves up Al Bundy negotiation tips for overdue library books, plus we get advice on how to deal with garden ornaments that are actually bombs.

Is That A Bomb In Your Garden?

ANNOUNCER – Time now for WDHA’s Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.

FUZZY – Today in Weird News, a couple in the UK received an unexpected visit by a bomb squad who informed them that they were there to detonate a live bomb.

When the couple moved in, the previous owner told them that a garden ornament in the front of the house was an old missile that was used by warships for the Royal Navy during World War I and was a dummy.

But the century-old bomb may have been actually armed, and as it turns out, they were right out.

The bomb squad safely moved the missile to another location, and then detonated it.

At least we know the people living at the house were stable and never tampered with the bomb.  If an unstable man lived there, he’ll just strike it with the metal shovel and claim revenge by those who purchased the last Cinnabon at Wendy’s.

WENDY’S CUSTOMER – Damn it boy, I waited online all day for a Cinnabon, and you purchased the last one.  Damn you all to hell!

FUZZY – Well, thanks, Gramps, for taking out the entire city, but at least we know everyone will rest in peace.

No pun intended.

AUDIO – That’s great news, General.  Congratulations!

Al Bundy Negotiation Tips

FUZZY – If you say so, and lastly in Weird News, a copy of the cruise of the Esmeralda by Harry Collingwood was taken out of the Carbondale Public Library in Pennsylvania back in 1904 by someone named Horace Short.

The book was never returned, but it suddenly appeared that a book sale that another library was having.

Luckily for Mr. Short, overdue fines are capped at $10, otherwise defined which was two cents a day back in 1904 would add up to over $872.

That is just one crazy amount.

Depending on the type of librarian you have to deal with, if you do owe money, you have to have a good negotiator by your side.

AL BUNDY – Can’t we make a little deal here?  I’ll tell you what.  Suppose I tape a donut to my driver’s license and slip it to you.

You give it back, and the donut just mysteriously disappears.

FUZZY – And if things start to escalate at that point into a shouting match filled with fat jokes and insults, make sure you have a good comeback.

AL BUNDY – Could it be the details that hold your chair together or from the planet Krypton?

FUZZY – And after you win the Battle of the Insults, leave with your head held high.

AL BUNDY – A loser?  I think not.

FUZZY – And there you have it, the benefits of a top negotiator by your side.

Thank you, Mr. Bundy, and that’s DHA’s Weird News.

MORE WEIRD NEWS WITH FUZZY

'Happy Gilmore': 7 Most-Quotable Lines

Happy Gilmore was released on February 16, 1996.

Per Box Office Mojo, Happy Gilmore grossed $41 million worldwide with a budget of $12 million. However, the film has continued to grow in popularity since its release, especially in the golf community. This seemingly has led to a sequel now being in the works at Netflix.

As previously reported, Happy Gilmore 2 was announced by Netflix during an Upfront presentation on May 15. Adam Sandler will reprise the role of Happy Gilmore, but little else is known about the film.

The Hollywood Reporter notes the sequel is part of Sandler’s current development deal with Netflix that’s worth $250 million. So far, the deal has yielded eight different titles, including his 2018 stand-up special 100% Fresh and the 2023 teen comedy You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah, where he starred alongside his wife, Jackie, and his two daughters, Sadie and Sunny.

While Sandler is confirmed for Happy Gilmore 2, there will be some previous cast members who will sadly not be part of the sequel. In 2024, there have been two notable deaths from the Happy Gilmore cast. The first came in February when Carl Weathers, who played golf pro Chubbs, died at age 76.

Sandler shared in tribute, “A true great man. Great dad. Great actor. Great athlete. So much fun to be around always. Smart as hell. Loyal as hell. Funny as hell. Loved his sons more than anything. What a guy!! Everyone loved him. My wife and I had the best times with him every time we saw him. Love to his entire family and Carl will always be known as a true legend.”

The second came in April, when SCTV alum Joe Flaherty died at age 82. Flaherty was billed as “Jeering Fan,” who heckled Gilmore by notably calling him “jackass.”

Sandler wrote, “Oh man. Worshipped Joe growing up. Always had me and my brother laughing. Count Floyd, Guy Caballero. Any move he made. He crushed as border guard in Stripes. Couldn’t be more fun to have him heckle me on the golf course.”

He concluded, “The nicest guy you could know. Genius of a comedian. And a true sweetheart. Perfect combo. Much love to his kids, and thanks to Joe for all the greatness he gave us all.”

With the heckle of “jackass” likely now ringing in your head, we thought we would celebrate some other iconic lines from the comedy. In honor of the new sequel, here are seven of the most-quotable lines from Happy Gilmore.

  • "Why don’t I go eat some hay? I can make things out of clay, or lay by the bay. I just may. Whaddya say?"

    Sandler’s comedy is oftentimes just silly. Frankly, the world could use a bit more “silly” these days. So, when Happy responds to Shooter’s accidental rhyme with this line, you can’t help but laugh. It’s just so absurd!

  • "You could trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!" 

    Fun fact: Ben Stiller’s performance as a terrifying nursing home orderly is actually uncredited. While he’s an absolute jerk, the “warm glass” line always hits, even when you know it’s coming. Plus, he gets his comeuppance eventually. It’s yet another reminder that karma is real.

  • "It's all in the hips."

    If you’ve been playing a round of golf or have been at a driving range and didn’t say or think at one point “It’s all in the hips,” you’re not living life right. On the surface, that sounds harsh. However, Chubbs was right. It really does ease the tension.

  • "Just tap it in."

    Similar to “It’s all in the hips,” it’s just very difficult to be on the green or playing mini-gold and not think of “Just tap it in.” (Man, was Chubbs an outstanding golf pro, or what?!) Of course, Happy’s anger is instantly relatable when he misses his putt in this clip. For real, golf is super challenging. Why is it so popular?

  • "What? Friends listen to ‘Endless Love’ in the dark."

    Most of us have been in this situation when you want to take a friendship to the next level. Of course, not all of us have access to an ice rink and a Zamboni driver willing to give us random skating time. Side note: “Endless Love” still holds up. Lionel Richie and Diana Ross complimented each other so well.

  • “I eat pieces of s--- like you for breakfast!” “You eat pieces of s--- for breakfast?”

    Christopher McDonald doesn’t get enough credit for his portrayal of Shooter McGavin. The character was a perfect villain! He’s so much fun to hate. No one else could’ve played Shooter like this.

  • "The price is wrong, b---!"

    Few fight scenes are quite as iconic as Bob Barker vs. Happy Gilmore. In fact, it won “Best Fight” at the 1996 MTV Movie Awards. Let’s face it: There’s just something about the beloved host of The Price is Right just cleaning Happy’s clock. Decades later, it’s still hilarious.

Get The WDHA Setlist Newsletter Delivered To Your Inbox

The latest Rock news, intel on local events and concerts, plus exclusive contests, games, and more delivered right to your inbox.

*
By clicking "Subscribe" I agree to the website's terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I understand I can unsubscribe at any time.
Author Jim Monaghan
Category:
Tags:
,

More WDHA Morning Jolt

Load More