Fuzzy Needs A Helicopter To Rise Above the Weird News Mess
You know things have gone WAY beyond strange when Fuzzy has to resort to a helicopter to rise above the mess that is Weird News.
Weird News 12-21-23
ANNOUNCER – Time now for WDHA’s Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.
FUZZY – Today in Weird News, with the holidays approaching, burglaries are through the roof, literally.
Police in Texas say they received a call from a homeowner that the burglar was in the house. When the officer arrived, the man apparently tried to climb up the chimney to get out of the house, but he slipped and fell and became stuck inside for several hours before firefighters eventually came and rescued him.
Here’s a little advice for the burglars out there. When stuck in a chimney, sing a holiday song to pass the time.
Tis the season to rob a house. All I wanted was a six pack of beer. Tried to escape down through the chimney but I fell and wedged my rear. Firefighters came to unwedge me. Now I’m in custody.
You gotta love these stupid holiday stories. F*&%8ing burglars, they’ll never learn.
And this just then, we have a breaking story coming to the Weird News desk. Apparently, a semi truck overturned in Utah’s Logan Canyon. Let’s go live now to Papa Woody and Chopper One.
POPPA WOODY – Well, thank you, Mr. Fuzzy. There’s been a lot of truck spills lately, but this one really takes the cake. It seems that a truck filled with baking flour spilled their entire load all over the place. And cleaning up this mess is no piece of cake. But I do see people who are up for the challenge. Volunteers from all over the area have decided to unite. I see people transporting eggs, sugar, and I also see another person hauling a giant spatula to mix the ingredients together. And if the weather report holds true, some rain will come down later today, making loads of dough.
FUZZY – That’s incredible. Papa Woody, just in time for the holidays, right?
PW – You took the words right out of my mouth, Mr. Fuzzy. It brings a dear to my eye to witness such a thing. People uniting under one banner to bake a giant holiday cake on the road. So I guess the old idiom is true. You can have your cake and eat it, too, but at the end of the day, you have to eat it so traffic can flow again. But it truly is a holiday miracle. Back to you, Mr. Fuzzy.
FUZZY – Well, thank you, Poppa Woody, for such an inspiring story. And that’s DHA’s Weird News.