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WDHA Morning Jolt

WDHA Morning Jolt

WDHA Morning Jolt

Weird News – Fuzzy Brings In Greek Mythology To Help Explain This Mess

Author Jim Monaghan

As if the news isn’t weird enough already these days, this week Fuzzy ventures into Greek mythology with some predictably unusual results.

Weird News 1-5-24

ANNOUNCER – Time now for WDHA’s Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.

FUZZY – Today in Weird News, Christina Rodrigo from France welcomed their son to the world, but they still haven’t been issued the child’s birth certificate.

The couple named their child Hades, who in Greek mythology is the God of the underworld who rules over the dead souls. France will reject any name it feels will go against the interest of the child and have a negative connotation.

I don’t see anything wrong with the name Hades. According to the text, Hades was the last son regurgitated by his father, Kronos. So I don’t see a problem at all. We all throw up and regurgitate from time to time. Even the cast of Family Guy had their vomit days. Just listen.

FAMILY GUY AUDIO – Why didn’t anybody tell you? Oh, my God. My insides are on fire. No, please, no more. Dad. I’m scared. Call 911.

FUZZY – You see? So I don’t understand why the French has a problem with this. There’s no negative connotation. If anything, I want to join in on the fun. I’ll drink some ipecac when I’m done. It’s Hades favorite drink.

And lastly, in Weird News, a Connecticut man felt he had won the lottery when he found a bag containing $5,000 in cash in a parking lot. But he’s not feeling so lucky anymore because he is now charged with larceny.

The bag was marked with a bank’s insignia, and there were numerous documents inside identifying the town of Trumbull as the rifle owner. The man claims he never noticed a bank insignia nor the documents inside.

There is only one person I know who could settle this dispute –  Judge Harry Stone from Night Court.

Was Night Court ever really like this

Order in the court! Would the defendant please rise and state your case? Your honor, this is clearly a case of finders keepers, losers weepers. I did nothing wrong, Yahsee. I don’t know. The money back was clearly marked with big letters and written in crayon, property of the town of Trumbull. The punishment must fit the crime. Fine, Yahsee. How about I serve community service and clean out all the bank vaults? Just place all the money in an unmarked bag and I’ll clean it out. You can consider me the new trash collector and you’ll see. Very good. Everyone likes a clean vault to walk into. Justice has now been served. This court’s adjourned. And that’s DHA’s Weird News.

MORE FUZZY: Fuzzy Puts His Fractured Spin On Star Wars

No Booze, No Problem: Alternatives for Dry January

We have kicked off the new year, and many people are using it as an opportunity to ditch booze for the entire first month of 2024. The “Dry January” trend encourages people to abstain from alcohol for 31 days straight.

Originating as a campaign devised and spearheaded by Alcohol Change UK over a decade ago, Dry January serves the purpose of addressing the adverse effects of alcohol, as outlined on their website. In response to this movement, numerous restaurants and bars are adapting their menus to include mocktails and nonalcoholic versions of popular drinks, including nonalcoholic beers and wines. Although not a new concept, its popularity is on the rise.

Many sober-curious people in the United States take on this annual challenge. According to previous surveys by Morning Consult Pro, participation in Dry January ranges from 15% to 35% among U.S. drinkers overall.

Statista projects that the revenue in the non-alcoholic drinks market in the United States will reach US$526.1 billion in 2024, with an estimated annual growth rate of 3.22% (CAGR 2024-2027). This surge is attributed to an escalating demand for healthy and natural non-alcoholic beverages in the country.

Harvard Health Publishing has reported that even a one-month abstinence from alcohol can hold noticeable health benefits. A study in BMJ Open found that regular drinkers who refrained from alcohol for 30 days experienced improved sleep, increased energy, weight loss, lower blood pressure, reduced cholesterol levels, and diminished cancer-related proteins in their blood.

So, if you’re thinking about dialing back on the booze or just starting the year with a clean slate, why not jump on the Dry January train and give up beer, wine, or spirits for a month? And if you’re curious about some cool nonalcoholic options to enjoy during Dry January, check out some of our top picks.

  • NA Lager Beer

    When it comes to nonalcoholic beer that captures the essence of a lager, Heineken 0.0 stands out as a reliable pick. It’s only 69 calories per serving and has fruity, malty flavors. Someone even took to Reddit to share their love for the NA beer with many people agreeing that Heineken 0.0 tastes better than the “real” Heineken.

     

  • NA IPA Beer

    Samuel Adams’s Just the Haze kicks off with a citrusy aroma, featuring the scents of grapefruit, tangerine, and lime alongside tropical fruit flavors like pineapple, guava, and passion fruit. Visually, it has a hazy pale amber look with a golden-orange glow. It’s worth mentioning that according to the Samuel Adams website, the “non-alc Hazy IPA” has less than 0.5% alcohol and is only 98 calories.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CsHa7NqNyom/

  • NA Wine

    The Gruvi NA Dry Red Blend has cranberry and cherry aromas with hints of cardamom and nutmeg. With a gluten-free and vegan-friendly tag, it packs less than 0.5% ABV and only 45 calories per serving. According to their website, it was an award winner at the International Wine and Spirits Competition 23. If red wine isn’t really your thing, they also have a line of white wines.

  • Zero Proof Liquors

    There are plenty of nonalcoholic liquor replacements and not all of them are created equal or carry the flavor of actual alcohol. Ritual Zero Proof is an easy choice. They have alternatives to tequila, whiskey, rum, gin, among others. Their tequila substitute brings a tropical and earthy flavor.  Meanwhile, their rum substitute captures the warm vanilla and toasted spice essence of a dark rum. They also carry gin and whiskey alternatives.

  • More Liquor Alternatives

    Three Spirits Elixirs are designed by plant scientists and bartenders to “make moods and enhance connections throughout the day and into the night.” They pack their drinks full of active plants, adaptogens, and herbs. Their NA drinks cocktails are 100% vegan and cruelty-free.

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Author Jim Monaghan
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