Fuzzy Fractures Robin Hood and Maid Marian
All bets are off when the one and (thankfully) only Executive Producer takes on the story of Robin Hood on today’s episode of Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales.
Let’s just say that Maid Marian really hopes that Skippy’s aim with that bow and arrow is on target.
Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales – Robin Hood: Bows and Arrows
ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Well, sort of. It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.
FUZZY – Damn! So close to the bullseye. Good morning, everyone. I’m practicing archery, where hitting the target is quite hard. But this leads me to today’s story. It’s Robin Hood, Bows and Arrows.
A master of archery, Robin Hood was teaching a young lad named Skippy on how to use the bow and arrow. It’s all about the fundamentals, which include focus and concentration.
ROBIN HOOD – Lesson number one, Skippy. Take this thingamajiggy. And pull the string back with this other thingama jiggy and let it go. And then we’ll all get jiggy with Will Smith.
SKIPPY – Okie dokie, Mr. Hood. Let’s give it a whirl.
ROBIN HOOD – Oh s**t, kid, you just killed Will Smith. I should have told you to fire where there are no people. But then again, that is lesson number two. I gotta remember to switch those around. I guess we won’t be getting jiggy with it anytime soon. Oh, hell, no.
FUZZY – Despite the death of Will Smith, the lessons continued on a less populated road. Robin Hood placed an apple on the tree branch as Maid Marian waved from a distance.
MAID MARIAN – Greetings, Robin Hood. Hold on, I’m coming over. Oh, it’s always good to see Marian. Time for lesson number three, Skippy. This time, focus and concentrate. If you hit the apple, I’ll appoint you Top Archer of the town.
SKIPPY – Sure thing, Mr. Hood. I’ll try not to kill someone.
ROBIN HOOD – Oh s**t, Skippy, your arrow just took Maid Marian’s dress right off, leaving her naked. Her t***s seem quite perky. I always suspected a b**b job. That little tease. Good job, Skippy. Since you didn’t kill her, I hereby promote you to Top Archer.
SKIPPY – This is great. Can I tie her dress above the fireplace as a trophy?
ROBIN HOOD – Boy, you could do what you want with the dress. I’m gonna tie her to my bed and tickle her until those b**bs explode.
FUZZY – Well, it looks like the kid is doing a better job in archery than I am. Maybe I’ll switch to a different sport, like thumb wrestling. But my hand kind of hurts right now. The hell with it.
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