You Better Watch Out For That Charging Rhino
In a previous episode of Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales, we learned how the rhino got its fold.
That story was a little far-fetched, but not nearly as strange as this reboot.
Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales – How the Rhinoceros Got His Fold V 2.0
ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Well, sort of. It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.
FUZZY – Good morning, everyone. It’s time for another classic fracturing – How the Rhinoceros Got His Fold Version 2.0.
Long ago, near the shore of the Red Sea, lived a rhinoceros with tough, smooth skin. Hungry for a meal, he met a local traveler who was baking a cake.
RHINO – Excuse me, sir. The cake you are baking smells delicious. May I have some? I’m quite hungry.
TRAVELER – You’re hungry? You’re the size of a f***ing refrigerator. Slap a Chicago Bears jersey on and you’ll look like William Perry. You don’t need a cake. You need a football so you can run on the field and burn some calories, Fatso.
AUDIO – What are you, a wise guy? Because I know how to deal with wise guys.
RHINO – You’ll know it’s not nice to make fun of people who look different than you. Just because my man boobs jiggle like a 40-year old woman doesn’t mean I’m fat. I’m just big-boned. That’s what my mama always says.
Here come the fat jokes
TRAVELER – Yo mama. Where does your mama get all her wisdom? From a bottle of cheese whiz?
Here’s a little wisdom for you. Yo mama so fat that when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.” Your mama so fat that when the Lord said, let there be light, he asked her to move out of the way. Yo mama so fat that when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
FUZZY – Upset and angry with the traveler’s words, he snorted and charged at him just as quickly as William Perry.
With only a moment to react, the traveler sidestepped out of the way as the rhino collided with a palm tree, folding himself up like an accordion.
RHINO – Oh, my lord. Look what you’ve done to my beautiful skin. There’s folds all over the place.
AUDIO – Well, that sucks.
TRAVELER – you so fat that when you just fell over, no one was laughing, but the ground was cracking up. You just can’t make this stuff up.
FUZZY – Wow, the traveler’s really hitting some of those old school fat jokes. Now we know why the rhino got its fold.
You learn something new every day, boys and girls.
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