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WDHA Morning Jolt

WDHA Morning Jolt

WDHA Morning Jolt

Fuzzy Takes Pinocchio and Geppetto To An Amazing Barbecue

Author Jim Monaghan

Nobody fractures classic children’s stories and fairy tales quite like Fuzzy, who has already taken on the story of Pinocchio and Geppetto.

This week’s episode of Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales features both Pinocchio and Geppetto, plus guest appearances by Jiminy Cricket and a classic scene from Three Amigos!

Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales – Pinocchio and Geppetto

ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Erm, well, sort of.

It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.

FUZZY – Let’s jump into today’s story, it’s Pinocchio, version 2.0.

There was once a carpenter named Geppetto, and one day he found a magical piece of wood that talked, so he took it home and carved himself a son.

GEPPETTO – And with just a little chip off the arm, I’ll put some clothes on you and voila!

PINOCCHIO – Well, I could finally move around! I do feel a little stiff, but then again I am made of wood, no pun intended. So who the hell are you, Gramps?

GEPPETTO – I’m your father, Geppetto.

PINOCCHIO – Gelato’s your name? Then I’ll have pistachio flavor with extra pistachios. I hate it when they go skimpy on the nuts. It gives my turds a little character.

So if your name is Giuseppe, what’s my name?

GEPPETTO – Again, my name is Geppetto, and I’ll name you Pinocchio since I carved you out of pine wood.

PINOCCHIO – Why, bye, golly, with the name like that, I’ll certainly have mental health issues. Do you want me to grow up as a deranged madman like the Joker and laugh my issues away?

Listen, Jalopy, couldn’t you name me the honorable Pinewood of Tuscany III? It makes me sophisticated.

Hey, what’s this?

FUZZY – Pinocchio bent down and picked up a carving tool and quickly hid it behind his back. Geppetto is not pleased.

GEPPETTO – Damn it Pinocchio, it’s not nice to steal. Give it back.

Welcome Three Amigos! To the Festivities

PINOCCHIO – What you talking about El Guapo? I’m not a thief, but I’ll tell you this.

When I was in Mexico, I was stuffing pinatas for some dude that has the same name as you.

PINOCCHIO – Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I love that part. I’m the Three Amigos! number one fan and that’s the truth.

Is That Jiminy Cricket We Hear?

FUZZY – Because Pinocchio lied, his nose grew long, breaking through the window and into Jiminy Cricket’s yard. It laid across the barbecue grill as he was cooking.

JIMINY CRICKET – What the hell is this? That is the longest hot dog in the world! Talk about breaking a Guinness World Record. I’m going to need a little extra relish for this.

PINOCCHIO – Well, this certainly is a pain in the butt, but at least I can smell the good cookout.

Grab your hat, Gizmo, we’re going to a barbecue.

FUZZY – Listen, I’m all about the good barbecue, but I’m not a fan of the relish. I’ll just stick to a cheeseburger.

I’ll see you guys next week.

MORE FUZZY’S FRACTURED FAIRY TALES

5 Reasons To Get The New Linkin Park Album

The day is finally here. I always love it when new music comes out. Or in this case, a best-of collection. If you’re a Linkin Park fan you need to pick up “Papercuts (2000-2023)”. It’s an awesome collection and is so important to carry on the legacy of late frontman Chester Bennington. Let’s take a look at 5 reasons to get the New Linkin Park Album.

Chester was a force to be reckoned with. His vocals were so powerful. On the album, it was chilling to hear him do his thing. And when you saw them live it looked like he enjoyed every moment up on that stage. The whole band was always tight and although they had lots of samples and intriguing sounds on their recorded songs, they always somehow pulled it off live.

But let’s take a look at their catalog. With 7 albums, the band churned out popular singles that everyone knew and loved. They also raked in the awards. And rightfully so. They had a sound like no other. Sure, they didn’t start the genre that they were a part of, but they sure as heck took it to new heights. When you think of bands that infuse rap elements with rock and even have a DJ, Linkin Park is almost always at the top of people’s lists. They did it so well and with so much passion.

After Chester passed, the band went on and is on an indefinite hiatus. But with this “Papercuts” collection we get some new stuff and get to hear Chester’s voice again for the first time. Like on LOST or Friendly Fire, it’s so satisfying to hear him sing and do it with the force an emotion we know and love.

I think it’s time to take a look…

5 reasons to get the New Linkin Park Album.

  • LOST

    This song didn’t make it to Meteora, but that’s not to say it’s not amazing. A true LP rocker. It’s got all the elements you know and love from the band.

  • ONE STEP CLOSER

    It’s the song most of us heard that introduced us to the band.  And it still holds up to this day.  Such an angst ridden masterpiece

  • WAITING FOR THE END

    Their album “A Thousand Suns” split the fans.  I for one thought it took chances, helped LP to grow and had some brilliant moments.  This tune is definitely one of them!

  • QWERTY

    So you like heavy Linkin Park?  Well here ya go!  This was a fan favorite.  It debuted at some shows in Japan in the 2000’s and it’s now available on this collection!

  • BREAKING THE HABIT

    I always thought this was an interesting song.  Fast, upbeat, but not heavy.  It’s motivational and you can hear that emotion in Chester’s voice!

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Author Jim Monaghan
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