Thanks To Fuzzy, Pinocchio’s Nose Isn’t the Only Body Part That Grows
Geppetto wanted Pinocchio to be a real boy. Apparently, Pinocchio had other ideas and thanks to today’s episode of Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales, we learn that Pinocchio only needed to use his imagination to grow a certain body part.
Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales
ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Well, sort of. It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.
FUZZY – Good morning, boys and girls. Let’s jump into today’s story. It’s Pinocchio, Imagine That. The carnival was in town for the holidays, and Pinocchio was excited. So he grabbed his friend Jiminy Cricket, and off they went.
PINOCCHIO – Whoa! This carnival is crazy. Jiminy, look. There’s an elephant over there with a trunk as long as my nose. Sometimes I wish my private parts would grow instead. It’s the size of a toothpick right now. And if it grew, I could stand like a tripod.
JIMINY – A tripod? You’ll be perfect for the freak show, which starts in an hour, by the way. I thought your wish was to be a real boy.
PINOCCHIO – The hell with that crap. Women don’t want to be with a boy. They want a man who stands like a tripod. And since I’m already made of wood, I’ll ask the fairy to turn my toothpick to a woody.
AUDIO – that’s a pretty smart thought.
FUZZY – As Pinocchio and Jiminy walked through the carnival, they found a mystical tent with the fairy inside. Pinocchio told the fairy his wish, and she explained what he needed to do. Just use your imagination.
PINOCCHIO – My imagination? Don’t you have a magic pill like Viagra? Every commercial on TV are guys popping pills with smiles on their faces, walking in slow motion. That’s what I need. Minus the slow motion. Just turn me to a tripod, please.
FAIRY – Pinocchio, I told you. Just use your imagination, and soon your toothpick will become a tripod. A kickstand, a baby’s arm holding an apple, anything that you want it to be.
FUZZY – Pinocchio closed his eyes and imagined his holiday wish coming true. And behold, his toothpick grew long, becoming the tripod or the freak show he was meant to be.
JIMINY – Pinocchio, you did it. But you may have overdid it. Your woody just shot up into the heavens.
PINOCCHIO – Waha! Talk about a gift for me and the ladies! It worked. My toothpick is now the size of Willis Tower in Chicago. Would you imagine that!
AUDIO – What you talking about, Willis?
FUZZY – It’s better to give than it is to receive is a mantra that we’re all familiar with. And in this story, Pinocchio was thinking more of the ladies than himself. I guess I should respect that.