Fuzzy and the Case of the Runaway Kangaroo
When it comes to Weird News, a runaway kangaroo would seem to be at the top of the list.
Especially when Canadian police have cases like the one where the McDonald’s Hamburglar was considered a prime suspect.
Weird News – the Case of the Runaway Kangaroo
ANNOUNCER – Time now for WDHA’s Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.
FUZZY – Today in Weird News, police in Canada were pursuing a kangaroo that had been on the loose for multiple days who broke free from her handlers while being transferred between zoos.
Police were briefed on the most effective way to subdue the animal, which is to grab it by its tail.
That’s exactly what one officer tried to do, but the kangaroo wasn’t too pleased and she punched them in the face.
A police spokesperson said the officer is fine and the kangaroo was eventually subdued. She was taken to the zoo to be examined.
And now the phone with me now is the officer who was dispatched to tame the marsupial.
So officer, were you surprised when you received a call on this?
POLICE OFFICER – Surprised? Here in Canada, nothing really surprises me anymore, Mr. Fuzzy.
I received calls ranging from drug abuse from a one-legged prostitute, to a toilet abuse from a constipated man relieving himself.
He was screaming like it was bloody murder in the butthole. He sounded just like Flanders from The Simpsons.
Aaaahhh! Yeah, it was something like that.
FUZZY – That’s incredible, officer. But what about this kangaroo who’s on the loose? Wasn’t that strange?
POLICE OFFICER – Well, not really. Stuff like this happens often.
Just the other week there are reports of someone in the park eating people’s food and running away. I narrowed it down to three suspects.
The McDonald’s Hamburglar, he’s a crafty son of a b***h.
Wimpy from the Popeye show because I get reports of notes being left behind that say, “So, I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today,” and Yogi Bear.
He’s on the most wanted list. It just never ends with him. So trust me, this is not strange.
FUZZY – Well thank you for your time, officer, and I do hope that you feel better from that kangaroo
punch.
POLICE OFFICER – Oh, that was just a lucky sucker punch. The next time I see that kangaroo, I’m going to turn him into a kanga-benga at my next barbecue. Thanks for having me, Mr. Fuzzy.
FUZZY – No, thank you.
And that’s DHA’s Weird News.