California Boy Channels His Inner Mario Kart
What happens when California Boy gets stopped by the California Highway Patrol?
It’s kind of like CHiPs Meets Mario Kart from the Nintendo game.
Somehow, a 9-year-old boy managed to get behind the wheel of a car in an attempt to drive himself to school.
But it’s not just that, it’s WHY he wanted to get to school so badly that makes this week’s episode of Weird News so special.
ANNOUNCER – Time now for WDHA’s Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.
FUZZY – Today in Weird News, a minor traffic stop turns educational.
California Highway Patrol in Orville says they spotted a car that stopped oddly in the middle of an intersection.
When they instructed the driver to move, the car took off and led police on a brief chase. It finally ended in a dirt parking lot right next to an elementary school.
As troopers approached the car, they noticed that the driver was a nine-year-old boy who told them, quote, “‘I’m sorry, I’m trying to get to school,” end quote.
In on the phone with me now is California Boy, so kid, I have to ask, where did you learn how to drive?
CALIFORNIA BOY – Now that is one hard-hitting journalistic question.
Where do you think I learned how to drive? I play Mario Kart. I got the entire collection. I have the original Mario Kart from Super Nintendo all the way to Mario Kart Live for Nintendo Switch.
If my parents weren’t such d****bags and invested in proper gaming, steering wheel, and pedals, I never would have gotten stuck at the intersection, so this is all their fault.
FUZZY – Yes, I guess it is partly their fault, among other things, but I’m surprised you wanted to go to school. A kid your age, why didn’t you attempt to go to a theme park or something?
CALI BOY – A theme park? Why would I waste my time there? You walk through the door just to be groped by losers dressed as cartoon characters. If Mickey Mouse touched me, I’d kick him in the pinecones to make him scream like Minnie Mouse.
The reason I went to school was because it’s sex-ed all this week. They were showing pictures of the female anatomy. I finally get to see Hooters!
If Cinderella were to show me her hooters at a theme park, then don’t go.
FUZZY – Well I’m very proud of you kid. It’s rare that you see someone with such a love for school and education like you do. I hope getting pulled over by the officer didn’t ruin your hunger for knowledge.
CALI BOY – Well at first it was a drag getting pulled over, but he did escort me to class. I look like a badass in front of my friends. I should be in inspiration for all students.
The lengths I had to go through to see naked pictures of the female anatomy! All for educational purposes.
They should build a statue of me!
FUZZY – If it means anything to you kid, I’m very inspired by your story. Thank you for joining me today.
CALI BOY – Thanks d*****bag and good job asking those hard-hitting journalistic questions. Hopefully, I can inspire others out there too.
FUZZY – And I hope so too.
And that’s DHA’s Weird News.
