Herman Munster Singing Will Be In Your Head All Day
Herman Munster singing may not be your particular favorite earworm, but after listening to this week’s episode of Weird News, you’re going to have his voice in your head the rest of the day.
ANNOUNCER – Time now for WDHA’s Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.
FUZZY – Today in Weird News, two Chick-fil-A employees in West Memphis, Arkansas, have been fired after a video leaked showing them contaminating the food.
In the video, an employee is seen spitting in the chicken batter and calling it their quote, secret formula, and end quote.
The restaurant’s manager called it a quote, completely unacceptable, and adding, that we have very strict standards and high expectations for food safety, team member behavior, and our guest experience, end quote.
Well, it seems those high standards were clearly violated, but what I don’t understand is why they’re acting like amateurs.
Be a professional, just bend over and drop a turd in a pot of chili and call it spicy sausage.
You could also take a whiz in an ice cream machine and call it a frozen pissicle.
And let’s not forget filling the condiment dispenser of globs, of boogers, and calling it snot sauce. The things you could do are endless.
Not that I ever done that before, but if you’re going to get fired, just go over the top. People will remember you. That’s cool.
What’s not cool is that it’ll be hard for you to get another job, because people remember you. Makes sense?
That’s good advice.
Happy to help.
And lastly, in Weird News, police say a 38-year-old Minnesota man was visiting a corn maze with his family when he felt a piece of corn in his boot.
As he bent down to pull the corn out, his gun, which was licensed to carry, discharged and fired a single shot into his thigh.
Officers responded to the emergency call about the shooting and eventually found the man who was somewhat lost in the maze.
So far, no charges have been filed.
I do have audio of the incident recorded from someone’s cell phone, so let’s roll it.
AUDIO – Man, I can’t believe this crap. I’m stuck in the damn corn maze. I feel like I’m in a horror movie.
I’m seconds away from being eaten by some alien with a giant head, or worse, Herman Munster’s gonna pop out of the shrubs and start singing.
Herman Munster Singing
Oh man, I’m getting too old for this crap. I got to get out of here before I hang myself on the corn stalk.
Why couldn’t we have a nice family vacation at the Hooter bar? Can’t get lost there?
Unless get drunk and find your face stuck between two Hooters. But that’s the good kind of loss.
Wait a minute. What’s missing from my shoe? A damn kernel.
Oh, **** you’ve got to be kidding me!
I’m on a damn family vacation, damn it. I’m never eating popcorn again. I’m switching to beer nuts.
FUZZY – Note to self, no trips to a corn maze. Got it.
And that’s today’s Weird News.
