Dean Wormer Would Like To Offer Florida Man Some Timely Advice
Florida Man being drunk is nothing new. Florida Man being naked is probably also nothing new. Florida Man being both drunk AND naked is a little daring, even for him….
Florida Man being drunk is nothing new. Florida Man being naked is probably also nothing new.
Florida Man being both drunk AND naked is a little daring, even for him.
So it's in times like this that Florida Man should probably heed the sage advice of Dean offered by Faber College Dean Wormer all those years ago.
FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!
DATELINE - Delray Beach and the Saga of Florida Man Edward Tuttle, who was found lying face down in the grass of a Delray Beach intersection the other day.
When police approached him to see what was going on, they found him to be completely naked. They shook him awake, and as he slowly regained consciousness, Tuttle began to stand up.
And then, "unprovoked" and "without warning," well, he punched a Delray Police Department officer in the nose.
As you can imagine, that did not go over well.
So they got him under control. They put him in handcuffs. He's still naked. And Tuttle confessed, "Yes, I'm drunk."
I think they probably had figured that out already.
The Area Around the Incident
Now, nearby the scene where all of this happened is a pub, a cafe, and a cocktails restaurant. But it's unclear right now as to whether Tuttle came from any or all of those locations.
Sage Advice From Dean Wormer
Ultimately, he was arrested, charged with disorderly, intoxication, and battery on a law enforcement officer. I think, in the words of the immortal Dean Wormer, "fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
Top 5 “Florida Man Strikes Again” Stories For September 2023
Each month, Florida Man seems determined to top his antics from the previous 30 days.
And somehow, he manages to succeed.
In the month of September, transportation appeared to be trending in the Sunshine State - stolen cars, torched vehicles, hamster wheels - you name it!
Getting robbed and arrested all in a matter of a few minutes? That seems like quite the feat.
Until you remember that it's Florida Man we're talking about.
And then there's assault with a deadly lollipop.
What's your favorite Florida Man story from September?
Florida Man Would Have Been Far Better Off Just Eating the Lollipop
Who doesn’t love lollipops? We’re pretty sure that Florida Man can be counted in the “yes” category when they’re being passed out.
You go to the bank, and there they are at the counter. Oh sure, they’re supposed to be for the kids but you know you’ve taken one (or two) for yourself.
Leave it to Florida Man to use a lollipop as a weapon.
Only Florida Man Would Steal A Rolls Royce and Then Rent It Out
This might be one of our all-time favorite Florida Man stories.
There are only a handful of Rolls Royce Wraiths painted in this particular shade of purple. So what does Florida Man do when he steals it?
He posts it for rent on social media.
Florida Man Gets Robbed And Arrested All In the Same Day
Florida Man possesses some very unique traits. For example, how many people can claim they were robbed, call the police to report the theft, and then end up arrested?
Jealous Florida Man Carries A Torch For Both His Girlfriend and Her Jaguar XE
When a jealous Florida Man carries a figurative torch for his girlfriend, and a literal one for her Jaguar SE, you just KNOW you have a hot story on your hands.
Florida Man and His Giant Hamster Wheel Go For the Grand Slam
There’s nothing like having a hobby. In the case of Florida Man, it’s gone from a giant hamster wheel hobby to an obsession worthy of a grand slam.
Now, if this story sounds familiar, well, it should because this is not the first time Baluchi has attempted this.
There were similar stunts in 2014, 2016, and in 2021 which we had told you about in a previous episode of Florida Man Strikes Again.
All of those episodes have ended with Coast Guard intervention.
