Florida Man Would Have Been Far Better Off Just Eating the Lollipop
Who doesn’t love lollipops? We’re pretty sure that Florida Man can be counted in the “yes” category when they’re being passed out. You go to the bank, and there they…
Who doesn't love lollipops? We're pretty sure that Florida Man can be counted in the "yes" category when they're being passed out.
You go to the bank, and there they are at the counter. Oh sure, they're supposed to be for the kids but you know you've taken one (or two) for yourself.
And who doesn't long for the days when you'd go to the barber shop and have your pick of lollipops from the barber when he was done?
You probably never thought of using a lollipop as a weapon.
FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!
DATELINE - Clearwater, and the Saga of Florida Man Dalton Reed.
Seems that Reed was in line checking out at a Family Dollar convenience store in Clearwater when he got into some kind of verbal argument with the store manager, David Johndrow.
As the dispute escalated, Reed allegedly threw something at Johndrow, striking him in the chest.
According to the arrest affidavit, the object did not cause bodily harm.
It's because the object was a lollipop.
I guess it was at the counter. You know, those impulse purchases that they have there for you? So Reed was arrested for simple battery, and then cops tacked on a possession of drug paraphernalia charge when a post-arrest search reportedly turned up a crackpipe in one of Reed's pockets.
No weapon was seized by the Clearwater Police Department officers. Maybe they put the lollipop back in the bin where it was.
Reed is in county lockup, bond has been set at $650 on two misdemeanor charges.
However, he has an extensive rap sheet with convictions for grand theft, DUI, narcotics possession, loitering and prowling, and retail theft.
By the way, a judge has ordered Reed to stay away from the Family Dollar store and have no contact with that store manager.
You can hear the conversation in jail now. "Hey, tough guy. What are you in?" "Um, I threw a lollipop at this guy."
Top 5 “Florida Man Strikes Again” Stories For August 2023
The month of August was pretty wild for Florida Man.
Oh sure, there were the usual drunken adventures and mishaps. And impersonating a police officer, well that's definitely nothing new for Florida Man.
What surprised us was the location Florida Man chose for some of his antics - like church - and his inclusion of Mom a couple of times.
Even for non-believers, there has to be at least a little concern of "What if..." when you decide to commit any kind of crime in a church or house of worship.
After all, there are so many other places to find victims these days.
Although we will admit that the attempt at salvation via baptism while in the act of vandalizing a church puts a different sort of twist on things.
And when it comes to dealing with Mom....
Look, you can get any member of the family you want angry at you. But Mom?
Come on, Florida Man. You can do better than that.
Florida Man Arrested While Trying To Get INTO A Police Car To Threaten Someone
The month of August started off with one of the more bizarre Florida Man stories we've seen in awhile.
Florida Man has spent a lot of time in police cars, but this might have been the first time he actively tried to get into one.
You See A Church Congregation, Florida Man Sees Victims For His Next Fraud
Florida Man seemed to spend a lot of time in church during the month of August.
In this first instance, Florida Man saw a lot of targets for his investment scam.
Florida Man Looks For Some Heavenly Salvation In the Middle of A Burglary
Back to church for Florida Man!
This time, he decided that maybe salvation could be found while committing a crime if he took a dip in the sanctuary baptismal pool.
And why not have a K-9 officer join in too?
Florida Man’s Mom Is Not Going To Be Happy About What He Told the Police
In addition to being in church, Florida Man spent a lot of time with Mom during the month of August.
Somehow, blaming Mom for her being the one who gave you a container that contained drug residue in it is not going to warm her heart.
Florida Man Adds Dear Old Mom To His Multimillion-Dollar Theft Ring
It looks as if Florida Man REALLY wants to get the family together in his ring of theft – even Dear Old Mom.
This time, Florida Man didn’t even have to throw her under the bus; she was along with him on the bus ride.
