Florida Man Looks For Some Heavenly Salvation In the Middle of A Burglary
We’re going back to church with Florida Man this morning, looking for some heavenly salvation while committing a burglary. FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN! DATELINE – Panama City FL. There appears…
We're going back to church with Florida Man this morning, looking for some heavenly salvation while committing a burglary.
FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!
DATELINE - Panama City FL. There appears to be a lot of church going in Florida lately. Yesterday on Florida Man Strikes Again we told you about the Florida Man who, well, he fleeced members of his own church for millions of dollars.
Well, today we take you to the Emerald Beach Church of God in Panama City, where a female employee was inside the building. She heard someone throw a cinder block through the window. She ran out of the church and called police.
Smart move on her part.
Officers arrived. They found Derek Porter loading several stolen electronics, including a TV and a computer, into his truck along with the church's money bag.
One of the unusual things here is cops said Porter was soaking wet because before he left the church, well, it seems he used the opportunity to baptize himself in the sanctuary pool. I'm not quite sure why.
We have some body cam audio that I want to play for you. You're going to hear police officers.
You're going to hear the suspect. You're going to hear some movement, and then you're going to hear laughter.
A lot of laughter.
(FROM THE POLICE AUDIO - "Who else is inside?" "I don't know.")
So it seems that Porter wasn't the only one who felt the need to jump in the sanctuary pool. The laughter is coming from the officers who are watching the K-9 officer with them jump in the water.
Hey, listen, it was hot. It seems as good a time as any, so I guess that, I don't know, maybe the dog was looking for a little religion.
Burglary and baptism - it goes so well in Florida, man.
Top 5 “Florida Man Strikes Again” Stories For July 2023
With each passing day, Florida Man Strikes Again takes us on one new adventure after another.
Whether it's vast quantities of illegal drugs, high-speed chases. grand theft auto, the possibilities are endless.
And let's not leave Florida Woman out of the mix, either, because she can throw a mean burrito!
If nothing else, the antics of Florida Man (and Woman) certainly help keep Florida Attorney in business. And speaking of which, can you even begin to imagine what it must be like being an entry-level public defender in the Sunshine State these days?
It's enough to make you think Saul Goodman might want to see if he can work a plea deal to get himself out of jail. There's certainly a large client base just waiting for him.
Herewith are our five favorite Florida Man Strikes Again stories for the month of July.
Florida Man Probably Doesn’t Want To Be A Contestant On Sheriff Ivey’s Game Show
Not only is this our favorite Florida Man story for July, it's one of our favorites so far in 2023!
Brevard County Sheriff Wayne Ivey is a no-nonsense kind of guy.
He also has a pretty good sense of humor, as you can see from the Facebook page for the Brevard County Sheriff's Office. Anyone who can refer to himself and his fellow officers as "the Po-Po" sounds like a guy you might want to share a beer with.
Well, it seems that Sheriff Ivey is the host of a new game show called Wheel of Fugitive and while he's not above poking fun at himself, it's also pretty obvious that he means business.
And when Sheriff Ivey means business, it also means that Florida Man probably shouldn't want to be a contestant.
The Fake ID Card Was Probably the Least of Problems For Florida Man
Having a fake ID card isn't all that unusual. You can pretty much ask any college student who may or may not have reached the legal drinking age yet.
When it comes to Florida Man, the fake ID card he had was probably the least of his problems when police caught up with him.
<strong>Florida Man Omar Feliciano</strong> somehow attracted the attention of deputies from Volusia County at the worst possible time.
For one, he was holding 88 games of cocaine.
But - as is often the case with Florida Man - wait, because there's more.
Florida Woman Takes A Page From 50 Cent and Gets Arrested
Florida Woman's aim was a bit off. Remember 50 Cent's attempt to throw out the first pitch at a Mets game a few years ago?
Florida Woman Sarah Ann Kochera took a page from 50 Cent at Rick's Reef restaurant when she got into an argument with someone (we think it was her boyfriend) and tossed a burrito at him, which resulted in her being arrested.
She missed.
And hit someone else.
And now she's under arrest.
Florida Man Will Never Get His Driver’s License With A Stunt Like This
Florida Man Gary Lamar Miller will never get his Florida driver's license if he keeps pulling a stunt like the one he tried a few days ago.
Miller was clocked doing 117 miles per hour in a 70 mph zone on I-75 shortly after midnight a few days ago. With the police now in pursuit, Florida Man led them on a high-speed chase.
Despite flashing lights and sirens, Miller refused to pull over and revved his Nissan SUV to more than 120 MPH before exiting the interstate highway and finally stopping his vehicle in front of a gated community.
If the police were less than thrilled with Miller's antics behind the wheel, you can imagine their reaction when he told one of the arresting officers that the high speed chase made him feel as if he were in the video game Grand Theft Auto.
To top things off, Miller only had a learner's permit to drive and was driving illegally.
https://wdhafm.com/2023/07/24/florida-man-will-never-get-his-drivers-license-with-a-stunt-like-this/
Drag Racing Florida Man Is the Only One To Ever Shut Down A Bridge
When Florida Man takes a road trip, he goes all out!
When Graham Liberal, some kind of Florida Man social media star, arrived in the Steel City from the Sunshine State last week, it was with the intention of setting up some kind of car meet for his social media content.
What ended up happening was a crowd of 300 people and around 50 cars gathering to shut down the Fort Pitt Bridge around 3 AM last Friday morning.
