Florida Man Accuses Cyclist of Being CIA, Dares Cops To Arrest Him
You know you’ve got a live one on your hands when Florida Man accuses some guy on a bicycle of being with the CIA and then taunts cops, daring them to arrest him.
FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!
DATELINE – Jupiter and the Saga of Florida Man Jesse Ray Martinez.
Let’s set the stage.
First we have a second Florida Man, Blaise Steinbach who is sitting on his bicycle underneath the US 1 bridge near Harborside Place in a parking lot. That’s when Martinez drove by him and said to Steinbach, “You work for the CIA!”
Steinbach, as you can imagine, a little confused.
Martinez drove away rather recklessly then came back and drove his vehicle in the direction of Steinbach, who got out of the way at which point Martinez hit the bike. Jupiter police on the scene, they take the bicyclist’s statement and then they go to the driver, Martinez.
Well, they realize that Martinez is under the influence. They gave him some field sobriety tests and he’s failed all of them when they were about to start doing another test, just to be sure.
That’s when Martinez allegedly said to the officer, “Bleep you. Take me to jail.”
Well, he got his wish. Jupiter police officers handcuffed him, escorted him to a patrol car as he kicked and threw elbows. At one point, they decided, we better restrain his legs as well. So now, with all of his limbs bound, that’s when Martinez tried to headbutt the cops.
When they finally got him into the back of the patrol car, Jupiter police found alcohol – gee, I’m shocked – and a metal grinder containing marijuana in Martinez’s SUV.
Yes, even more shocked…no, I don’t think so. It is Florida man after all.
Yet his racking up of criminal charges was not finished because while in custody, Martinez made several violent and rather strange threats to one officer like threatening he would find his family.
And then he said to the officer “You should have worn a mask because I’ll remember your face and show up” to exact revenge.
In total, Martinez faces seven charges including battery on a law enforcement officer assault on a law enforcement officer, possession of drug paraphernalia DUI resisting an officerwith violence and intimidation of a law enforcement officer. Bond is set at more than $17,000. He’s still in jail.
Wonder about that CIA accusation, though.
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