Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore Have More Problems With Fuzzy
The beloved Winnie the Pooh has drawn the attention of the one and (thankfully) only Executive Producer Michael Fuzzy Lee in a previous episode of Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales.
It makes me wonder why Fuzzy would treat Pooh in such a manner.
Everyone probably had a teddy bear as a kid. Mine was named Mike…and Mike went EVERYWHERE with me.
Mike started out as a stuffed panda when I received him as a present for my very first Christmas. By the time my childhood was over, Mike was looking a little haggard, but there was no doubt that he was loved.
Maybe you had a Pooh bear when you were a kid. And maybe Pooh had some great adventures with you.
We don’t think that was the case with Fuzzy.
Fuzzy Fractures Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore
ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Well, sort of. It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.
FUZZY – Good morning everyone, let’s just jump into today’s episode. It’s Winnie the Pooh – Eeyore’s New Old House.
On a cold, blustery day in Hundred Acre Wood, the wind knocked Eeyore’s house down.
As lazy as he is, the ones who built this home were just as lazy.
EEYORE – Why does this happen every time the wind blows? I never should have hired the Three Little Pigs to build my house. I should turn them into three little pork-kebabs, those damn punks!
POOH – Eeyore, it’s good to see you this morning. You know what I just learned today? That you’re a donkey. A jackass.
It’s funny. All this time I never knew.
Are you related to Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O? They are the epitome of jackass.
What did we learn today?
EEYORE – Well, it’s good to see you too, Pooh Bear. Want to know what I learned today?
Your name is Pooh.
All this time I never knew you’re related to the turds that come out of my jackass. Can’t you see my house blew over?
POOH – Touche! That’s a good comeback for someone who loses his tail often. But you’re still a jackass to me.
You suck, you jackass.
FUZZY – As they both stared at the pile of sticks on the ground, Piglet came over to offer his assistance.
PIGLET – I’m glad you boys are here. Guess what I learned today?
What do you get when you cross a bear with a donkey?
Sweet honey jackass. Get it? I love it! Sounds like a new barbecue sauce.
EEYORE – Hey, Piglet, guess what I learned today? What do you get when you cross a pig with an apple? You get roasted pork suckling on the barbecue grill, ya punk. Can’t you see my house blew over? I need a new home.
FUZZY – Upon further discussion, half of which is filled with demeaning jokes, they put their differences aside and rebuilt Eeyore’s new home using the remains of the old home.
After a couple of minutes, they were able to re-stack the branches upright forming a tent.
TV show ideas
POOH – Well, there you go, Eeyore, your new old house. That sounds like the name of a new TV show. You should call Bob Vila and learn how to be the host.
EEYORE – And you should call Tim the Tool Man Taylor and learn how to fall off a roof and smash through a Portajohn, you damn turd!
FUZZY – It’s been a while since I watched Home Improvement. I learned a lot on that show, especially electrical work, and they still have the burn marks to improve it.
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