WDHA Morning Jolt

Weekdays 6am - 10am

ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Well, sort of. It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning, Jolt.

FUZZY – Good morning, boys and girls. I picked me up a stuffed tiger head to place above the fireplace place. I think it adds a little bit of character to the living room. So let’s get to today’s story – Aladdin, Monkey See and Monkey Do.

One day, Aladdin took a stroll at the marketplace in town wondering where his friend Abu is. He calls out to him.

ALADDIN – “Abu, where are you?” Stupid monkey? I swear if I get another complaint that he pooped in the merchant’s hat I’m gonna taxidermy his behind and offer him as a gift to Jasmine BOP.
SPECTATOR Excuse me, Mr. Aladdin? I think they spotted your monkey friend at the other side of town taking a whiz and genie’s magic lamp well, I admit that’s pretty damn funny. Thank you, kind sir.

FUZZY – As Aladdin walked to the other side of town, we find Abu swinging around a pole and singing to himself near a balcony.

ABU – Good morning, everyone, my name’s Abu just singing a song, that’s what I do. Monkey see and monkey do wasting my time through and through and what do we have here? Another monkey with a tail as hot as mine. Hello, my dear.

FUZZY – As Abu swung down the pole, he failed to realize there was no monkey. Just a wide mirror showing himself. Apparently monkey see and monkey do is right.

ABU – You’re pretty hot, I say. And you do a good job mimicking my moves. So, tell me, there’s a merchant over therew ith a hat. Could you mimic this?

ALADDIN – Stop right there, you little turd. We ain’t doing this crap again. And by the way, that ain’t no monkey you’re talking to, it’s your reflection. Now get over here so I could properly embalm you for Jasmine.
ABU – Well, won’t you look at that? You’re right. Oh, well, it was really nice spending time with you. I gotta go. I’m overdue. It’s okay, just stay calm as I go to get embalmed.

FUZZY – Hmm…an embalmed monkey. That should look pretty nice for the bedroom, but it is disappointing. Abu is now stuffed. He did sing a really nice song.

Ryan Reynolds Thinks These Disney Classics Deserve R-Ratings

Ryan Reynolds thinks Disney should reconsider the ratings on a few of the studio’s classic films. As Disney+ announced yesterday (July 21) that the R-rated Marvel movies Deadpool, Deadpool 2 and Logan will soon be available to stream on the service, Reynolds, who plays Deadpool, couldn’t help but share his thoughts on the move.

“We’re supposed to announce Logan and Deadpool will soon be the first R-rated movies on Disney+. But we all know some Disney movies should already be rated R for irreversible trauma,” Reynolds tweeted.

See which Disney Classics Reynolds called out below:

  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

    “Breaking and entering. Borderline polyandry. Pretty sure those diamonds aren’t cruelty-free.”

  • Old Yeller

    “Total ugly-cry inducing straight up murder of Old Yeller. Also, bear abuse.”


  • The Lion King

    “Fratricide. Mauling. Very possibly half-sibling lovin’, or at least kissin’ cousins. Seriously.”

  • Bambi

    “Cold-blooded killing of an innocent deer mom, that will cause lifelong trauma.”

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