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WDHA Morning Jolt

Weekdays 6am - 10am

Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales Spells Bad News For Donald Duck and Daisy

By Jim Monaghan September 19th

ANNOUNCER – It’s time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Well, sort of. It’s Fuzzy’s Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.

FUZZY – Good morning boys and girls and welcome to another fun-filled fracturing episode. For today’s story, we have another Disney character, Donald Duck Takes Flight.

One day, Donald Duck wanted to surprise Daisy by flying her on an old-fashioned airplane. And being in the show-off that he is, he wanted to impress her with some fancy tricks.

I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

DONALD – Hey Daisy, watch me through a loop-the-loop in the air. You’re gonna love this.
DAISY – But Donald, we just ate lunch at the sushi bistro. If you want me to give you a whole new meaning for the word seafood, please stop. I don’t think this is a wise idea.

FUZZY – As Donald ignored Daisy’s warning and performed a loop-the-loop in the air, she suddenly regurgitated and refunded her meal all over Donald. But now there’s another problem – the plane stalled out.

DAISY – Oh dear, this is the last time I’ll order fluke for lunch for this whole flight is a fluke.
DONALD – Ahh, Daisy, I think we got a problem. We’re going down when we should be going up.
DAISY – That’s your opinion, Donald. Better they get on dry land so I could properly b**** slap you across the beak.

FUZZY – As the plane descended, Donald spotted an island where they could land. Which is good news. The bad news is the land is inhabited by a hungry Tasmanian devil.

Sucks to be you.

TAZ – Me hungry for duck, me cooked up roasted duck marinated in orange glaze with a glass of
sardine yum yum.

DONALD – All this excitement is making me hungry again, but I think duck tastes gamey. What do you say Daisy?
DAISY – Suit yourself. I agree with the Tasmanian devil. Roasted Donald duck sounds really good about now.

FUZZY – Well this was a treat, a special guest appearance by the Tasmanian devil. And it didn’t surprise me Daisy sold out Donald as the main course. Who could blame her?

I’ll toast to that.

Ryan Reynolds Thinks These Disney Classics Deserve R-Ratings

Ryan Reynolds thinks Disney should reconsider the ratings on a few of the studio’s classic films. As Disney+ announced yesterday (July 21) that the R-rated Marvel movies Deadpool, Deadpool 2 and Logan will soon be available to stream on the service, Reynolds, who plays Deadpool, couldn’t help but share his thoughts on the move.

“We’re supposed to announce Logan and Deadpool will soon be the first R-rated movies on Disney+. But we all know some Disney movies should already be rated R for irreversible trauma,” Reynolds tweeted.

See which Disney Classics Reynolds called out below:

  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

    “Breaking and entering. Borderline polyandry. Pretty sure those diamonds aren’t cruelty-free.”

  • Old Yeller

    “Total ugly-cry inducing straight up murder of Old Yeller. Also, bear abuse.”

    https://youtu.be/o_OZJcVAiXE

  • The Lion King

    “Fratricide. Mauling. Very possibly half-sibling lovin’, or at least kissin’ cousins. Seriously.”

  • Bambi

    “Cold-blooded killing of an innocent deer mom, that will cause lifelong trauma.”

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