Weird News – Fuzzy Compares An Ex-Girlfriend To A Slice of Pizza
Today in Weird News, only Fuzzy could find a way to make a comparison between an ex-girlfriend and a slice of pizza. We have the feeling that if she hears this, she will NOT be happy.
Weird News 11-9-23
ANNOUNCER – Time now for WDHA’s Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.
FUZZY – Today in Weird News, a 64-year old Kentucky man, Clifton Williams, got angry at his roommate for eating the last Hot Pocket in the freezer. An argument started and Williams started throwing tiles at the other man.
When the victim tried to run away, Williams pulled out a gun and shot him in the buttocks.
Well, that sucks.
For a Hot Pocket? I’ve got to see what all the brouhaha is about, so let’s do a taste test.
So I have here a four-cheese pizza with garlic crust. So let’s see if this is worth a shot in the butt. Well, it has a nice texture. Feels a little mushy and soggy, like my ex-girlfriend’s ass. But at least it doesn’t taste like ass.
Hot as hell, though. They really need to rethink the microwave directions.
So, clearly Mr. Williams is overreacting. No one deserves a gunshot in the buttocks for this. Now, if this Hot Pocket came packed with Paris Hilton, a keg of beer, and someone stole it, yeah, trouble’s coming.
And lastly, in Weird News, customs officials at St. Paul International Airport in Minnesota confiscated a box of giraffe feces from a traveler who just arrived from Kenya and planned to turn the poop into a necklace. The giraffe droppings were destroyed through steam sterilization, as instructed by the US Department of Agriculture.
I do remember listening to an instructional video of what not to transport and why, and feces was on the list, so let me play a clip.
Instructional Video Audio
Thank you for joining me for today’s lesson of what not to transport. Example number one, never transport cannabis on a burrito and make the authorities think it’s a new topping. If you do, they’ll do a taste test. If the cannabis is of high quality, then the airport would turn into a big rave party like Studio 54. Example number two, it’s important not to transport animal feces and turn it into a necklace. The stench is unbearable, and it could give a rash around the neck like ring around the collar. There’s not enough Wisk laundry detergent to fix that. Steam sterilization is highly recommended. Better to be safe than sorry.
FUZZY – Now, that’s good information. I gotta write that down.
And that’s DHA’s Weird News.