Fuzzy’s Hansel and Gretel Reboot Needs Help From Child Services

Fuzzy has already made Hansel and Gretel the focus of a previous episode of Fuzzy's Fractured Fairy Tales, but in this reboot, he brings new adventures of these Brothers Grimm characters.

And somehow you just know that Child Services isn't going to be much help here.

ANNOUNCER - It's time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Well, sort of. It's Fuzzy's Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.

FUZZY - And good morning, boys and girls. It's time for another reboot of a classic story. It's Hansel and Gretel, version 2.0. One day, Hansel and Gretel were waiting outside in the forest, wondering where their father and stepmother are. This is not the first time the kids were abandoned by their parents, but the third.

HANSEL - I can't believe this. They left us here to die. Again. I swear, I'm going to put Child Protective Services on speed dial. Gretel, where's my phone?
GRETEL - Well, don't drain the battery. I'm watching Carpool Karaoke with James Corden. How about you call an Uber instead? We could sing our way home.

HANSEL - How about I stick a turd in a jock strap and shove it down your throat? Now hand me the phone, you little brat.

FUZZY - As Hansel grabbed the phone, he quickly called Child services. Fed up with constant abandonment and being left outside for the wolves, he needed a solution.

CHILD SERVICES - Hello, this is Ben Dover from Child Protective Services. How may I help you?
HANSEL - Yes, I'd like to report my parents for negligence and being overall assholes. Please. They left us out here to die.

BEN DOVER - It's okay. Just calm down. Where are you located?
HANSEL - How the hell do I know? According to this fairy tale, I live in the forest, but all I see around me are trees. It doesn't make any sense. Just get me the hell out of here.
BEN DOVER - It's okay. I pinpointed your location on GPS. Luckily for you, we have a lovely old blind lady who lives in the gingerbread house near your location. She comes highly recommended.  When she receives new children, we never hear from them anymore. Just follow the breadcrumb emojis I mapped on your phone and have a nice day.
HANSEL - Well, wait a minute. Could you also send a six pack of beer emojis on my phone? I'm quite thirsty, you know. Hello?

I got a bad feeling about this.

FUZZY - Well, the operator seems like he knows what he's talking about. Tune in next week for part two of Hansel and Gretel on Fuzzy's Fractured Fairy Tales.

Over the years, The Simpsons has given fans several memorable moments, with one of its most famous recurring gags being when Homer strangles Bart.

In Season 35, Episode 3 titled "McMansion & Wife," which premiered on October 22, Homer demonstrates a shift in his behavior when he and Marge meet their new neighbor, Thayer. Upon their introduction, Thayer compliments Homer on his firm handshake, to which Homer jokingly responds, "See, Marge, strangling the boy paid off." He quickly amends, saying, "Just kidding. I don’t do that anymore. Times have changed."

Fans observed that the last instance of Homer strangling Bart occurred in Season 31. According to IGN, this particular episode aired between 2019 and 2020.

This gag had been a point of discussion for a while, dating back to a Season 22 episode titled "Love is a Many Strangled Thing," which aired in March 2011. In that episode, former NBA star Kareem Abdul Jabbar, playing a basketball player, teaches Homer a lesson by momentarily strangling him, leading Homer to cease strangling Bart.

While this recurring gag had garnered controversy in the past, some fans of The Simpsons were still dissatisfied when Homer indicated his change of behavior. However, others noted that such instances of strangling Bart had become increasingly rare in the later seasons of the show.

The Simpsons has also had to rethink some of its character portrayals in recent years. The show’s character Apu Nahasapeemapetilon drew criticism for its negative stereotypes and even inspired a documentary called The Problem with Apu in 2017. Hank Azaria, who's 59, stepped down from the role in 2020, and they haven't recast Apu. Although the character has been making background appearances since then.

Whenever a long-running show like The Simpsons makes a change, you can bet there'll be fans voicing their thoughts. Old and new fans alike had plenty to say about the Homer-strangling-Bart gag phasing out. Take a look at some fan reactions below.

Someone took a moment to share with fans who might not be up-to-date with the latest episodes. They pointed out that The Simpsons has actually moved on from the whole strangling gag for quite a while. "People complaining that The Simpsons changed but haven’t watched the new episodes to know that it's been rare for Homer to strangle Bart ever since the 2000's and the last (actual) time he did was over four years ago," said a fan on X (formerly Twitter). "The real story is that the show is kind of entertaining again."

A fan responded with a thoughtful perspective, expressing that The Simpsons' choice to retire the famous gag of Homer strangling Bart marks a crucial moment in the show's history. " It reflects the evolving cultural landscape and the need to adapt humor to changing sensibilities," they wrote. "It's a nod to the awareness of the impact such humor can have. The show has always been known for its social commentary, and this change is another example of that," they continued.

Some fans took a lighter tone in their reactions. One fan cracked a joke about the strangle scenes, playfully suggesting that they became a budget concern for the characters. They wrote, "he got tired of paying for all the neck reconstruction surgeries I fear."

Another fan summed up the news as just another "Simpsons prediction." They drew a comparison between this change in direction and an episode from season 2, episode 9 titled "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge," which aired in 1990. In that episode, Marge influenced the network to tone down cartoon violence in "Itchy & Scratchy" by introducing a revamped "Porch Pals" cartoon.