Weird News – Violated Teddy Bears and Stinky Diapers

Violated teddy bears and stinky diapers dominate the headlines. Or at least they dominate the headlines of the news sources Michael Fuzzy Lee uses to research his Weird News feature.

ANNOUNCER - It's time now for WDHA's Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.

FUZZY - Today in Weird News, a cop in Arkansas spotted a shaking vehicle parked outside a storage facility. He went to investigate and opened a door to find a 55-year old man having sex with a stuffed teddy bear.

The man was arrested and charged with drug possession and public indecency.

And on the phone with me now is Arkansas Man. So, sir, let me just thank you for taking my call, since you're only allowed one from jail.
ARKANSAS MAN - Say what? Who the hell are you? Ain't this 1-800-Build-A-Bear? You telling me I've been on hold all this time just to find out I'm on the phone with some jackass? Listen, bro, the holidays are coming, and I'm on the mission to order as many stuffed teddy bears as possible. You get it?.

FUZZY - No, I understand, sir, but are doing drugs and having sex with stuffed animals something that you do often?
ARKANSAS MAN - Listen, jackass, that ain't none of your business. What I do in my spare time, it's my time. You understand? Listen, you want to do a bro favor? Send me some crack and the teddy bear costume so I can slap it on and sneak the hell out of here. Hopefully, I won't get distracted and hump myself in this thing.

FUZZY - Well, that leads me to my final question. What's the condition of the teddy bear that you got caught with?
ARKANSAS MAN - Well, what do you think the condition is? Ain't you listening to me? I thought you were 1-800-Build-A-Bear. So the prognosis is this. I ripped that bear to shreds. Hence why I want to place an order and use promo code "stuff this." I'll save 10% off my order. So do me a favor and transfer me over to Build-A-Bear.

FUZZY - All right. There's no need to be testy. Okay?
Thanks, jackass.

FUZZYViolated - Geez. What is it about the holidays that make some people unbearable?

And lastly, in weird news, a flight heading to Tampa was about an hour into the trip when a passenger reported a suspicious package inside the lavatory. The pilot turned the plane around, and the passengers were evacuated and a bomb squad boarded. The suspicious package was just a dirty adult diaper wrapped in a plastic bag.

The Sherlock Holmes in me has a strange suspicion that the one who reported the dirty diaper was the one who took a dump in the dirty diaper.

It's simple.

The bomb squad needs to sniff the dirty diaper and sniff the butt of the one who reported the dirty diaper for comparison. I suspect this scent will be similar.

We must fall back on the old axiom that when other contingency fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

If data's vouching for me, that's just as good as Sherlock Holmes. And that's DHA's Weird News.

Here comes the holidays! It's TC wishing you a happy and merry whatever you celebrate and with Thanksgiving heading our way, before you let your best furry friend grab a scrap from the holiday meal, here are a few reminders on what's cool to nibble on and what should be avoided at all costs for our pups. Doggie Do's and Don'ts.
I spoke to a few veterinary friends, and also according to the American Kennel Club website, reminded myself of some of the yummy things we can offer our dogs (Rosie loves Turkey by the way...does your dog?) and we always want to proceed with just a few tastes as taking a dog away from their day to day diet is never a good idea for them or us!
I also hope you can spend some time with your pup over the holiday as I always think they feel the magic of the seasons and get into the vibe! Rosie (and my late dogs Scarlet and Star did too) loves watching me decorate the tree, cook in the kitchen and she really loves having guests over when she can get extra attention, see her old family pals and make new friends. I'm telling you- The dogs feel it too!
Personally I never like to give any kind of sweets or desserts to my dogs regardless of if my vet thinks they may pass the test. Desserts and dogs don't really mix, but let's explore a few of the obvious choices. Now if you have fed your dog say Turkey and it didn't agree with them, stay away. Rosie does fine with chicken and turkey spread on top of her Go Solutions food that I get from my friends at Home Towne Pet Shoppe. Home Towne Pet Shoppe
And I'll include some of Rosie Carr's favorite holiday foods on the list!
Happy "Dog-Friendly" Thanksgiving! And don't forget to check out our Rock N' Ruff Page - WDHA's Rock N' Ruff
AND pet tips on the Rock N'Ruff Roundtable TC's RNR Roundtable
TC and Rosie

White or dark turkey meat is fine, but it must be unseasoned, no skin and NO BONES! Bones are a choking hazard and can cause obstruction and other serious issues and skin can cause pancreatitis which can be deadly in some pups.

Yummy Yummy for our dogs! Filled with vitamins and good fiber green beans are fine, just set some aside before you season with butters and creams.

Hard Pass! Aside from digestive issues, casserole items aren't great choices for our dogs with their vast ingredients and your dogs unknown potential reaction to some of them.

Onions can be toxic for many dogs.

Pumpkin and Sweet Potato are great for vitamins and digestion, just not in pie form with sugar and spices. Plain is the name of the game. Rosie Carr LOVES sweet potatoes! Yummy!

Don't even think about it. Toxic for dogs.  That's why dogs are smarter than us. They don't do drunk stuff!

Unless it's specifically made for your dog. Keep in mind artificial sweetener is toxic for dogs as well as is chocolate.

Too much sugar and can contain fruits like raising or dried fruits that can be considered toxic.