Weird News – We Don’t Want To Know What Fuzzy Did With That Slingshot

It has come to our attention that some of Fuzzy's adlibs during these Weird News segments may be his subconscious telling us certain things about his past - like what he may or may not have done with that slingshot.

ANNOUNCER - Time now for WDHA's Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.

FUZZY - Today, in Weird News, a New York couple is crying foul on a Korean restaurant. A woman and her husband ordered food from the menu, but they were disgusted to find a dead black rat floating in their Korean beef soup.

Hmm. I don't know much about Korean dishes, but maybe that's the special ingredient. A rat in the soup could increase the overall presentation of the dish, add a nice fragrance and also a little bit of crunchiness, too.

And if you have it with crackers, it becomes a meal. Just pray that you don't get sick and die.

AUDIO - Very good. Very good. You know something? No soup for you!

FUZZY - Oh, whatever. I didn't want your crappy ratatouille soup anyway.

Also, in Weird News, a Massachusetts woman opened a FedEx package and found stacks of scratch-off games with a receipt stating its value at $20,000. She wanted to do the right thing and contacted the Massachusetts State Lottery to return the tickets. I do have a clip of the recorded phone conversation, so let's roll it.

AUDIO - "Hello. I received lottery tickets by mistake. I would like to return these to you." "You want to do what? What are you, a stupid? Why would you do that for her?" "Well, I'm not a business. I have no use for these." "You have no use for these? Are you serious? Am I in Bizarro World? Are my ears deceiving me? Listen, you better put that to good use. It's simple. All you gotta do is follow these three steps. Step number one - you pick up a quarter with your bony fingers like Skeletor would, okay? Not the arthritis cream, not that blue we move crap, all right? You pick up a quarter. Step number two - use your retirement time wisely by scraping those tickets till you see the word 'jackpot' written on it, okay? And then step number three - when you see the word 'jackpot' on the ticket, you jump up and down and pray that you don't bust a hip, because you're a winner." "Okay, if you say so."

FUZZY - While I think it's nice of the guy to let her keep the tickets like that, it gives her something to do.

And lastly, in Weird News, a New Mexico man was arrested after he repeatedly called 911 to harass dispatchers. In the call, he said, "You all like to treat people like dog poop, so you're going to get dog poop." He then made a special delivery to the police station that consisted of dog poop wrapped in a napkin.

Well, at least he's a man of his word.

What he should have done was use a slingshot to deliver the poop rather than just leave it at the door. Not that I have ever done it before, but it could be fun, for what it's worth.

AUDIO - Yeah, well, I had sex with your wife!

FUZZY - Uh okay, I have no idea where that came from, but whatever. And that's DHA's Weird News.

KISS avatars were unveiled as the "new era" of the legendary band following their final show ever.

The video below was played after KISS left the stage at Madison Square Garden on Saturday (Dec. 2). In the clip, Paul Stanley is heard saying, "KISS Army! Your love, your power has made us immortal. The new KISS era starts now!"

Per KISS' official website, "The KISS avatars were created by visual effects company Industrial Light & Magic using their advanced performance-capture technology, gathering every nuance of KISS band members' face and body performance in exact detail."

Industrial Light & Magic was founded by George Lucas in 1975. Since its founding, the visual effects company has over 500 film and TV credits. Among them are the many Star Wars properties and the various titles within the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Additionally, the "new era" of KISS is working with the Sweden-based Pophouse Entertainment Group. The company isn't new to the music world. It's responsible for ABBA Voyage, the acclaimed digital concert honoring the iconic pop group.

Per a press release from Pophouse Entertainment Group, "The band’s transformation into avatars will ensure their immortalization, while pushing the boundaries of rock and roll performances, as KISS have done throughout their career to date. This avatar performance will feature KISS as fantasy-based superheroes, and will provide a glimpse of just one of the many and varied ways in which KISS will live on as digital performers through their avatars in the future."

Basically, the options are essentially limitless for the KISS avatars. With the "new era" of KISS being now, we can't help but think -- and be a little overwhelmed -- by all of the ways KISS-tory can continue. Because we just can't help ourselves, we came up with five ideas of how to utilize these avatars.

Clearly, a concert experience will happen with the KISS avatars. Having them debut at the Las Vegas Sphere just makes sense. After all, the KISS World Museum is located in Vegas. Plus, the videos that have been released from U2's residency at the Sphere are just mindblowing.

In a promotional video from Pophouse that featured Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley, it was revealed that AI technology would be utilized with the KISS avatars that would allow the avatars to react to some stimuli. The example given was someone in the crowd at the digital concert yelling "I love you" would lead to the Stanley avatar to yell "I love you" back. So, why not give people the option to commission a personalized concert? Sure, that would have a hefty price tag, but clearly, anything is possible here.

The technology used to create the KISS avatars is incredible. You know what wasn't incredible? The 2000 video game KISS: Psycho Circus: The Nightmare Child. It was a first-person shooter based on Todd McFarlane's KISS: Psycho Circus comic book series. As you can tell from the clip below, the video game hasn't aged well, so a new one would be a great opportunity.

Sure, this one seems like a long shot, but considering the George Lucus connection with Industrial Light & Magic, it wouldn't be completely unheard of. It's not like it would be worse than the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special!

Okay, if the Star Wars crossover is a long shot, then a remake of KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park is probably unthinkable. However, the silliness of this idea was one we couldn't resist. Paul Stanley said of the film in a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter, "I embrace it like an ugly child ... We were sold the idea of the film in a sentence that was virtually, ‘A Hard Day’s Night meets Star Wars.’ Well, it was far from either."

Clearly, the time is now to right this wrong!