Weird News – What A Waste of A Perfectly Good Beer Bong

This morning's Weird News has more than you could ever imagine - a waste of a perfectly good beer bong, Sir Mix-A-Lot, and more.

ANNOUNCER - Time now for WDHA's Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee.

FUZZY - Today in Weird News, law enforcement from Washington State responded to a river near the Canadian border after a couple of people reported seeing human remains floating in the cave.

Officers entered the cave to investigate and seconds later, they surfaced with the human remains which ended up being a plastic skull beer bong.

A prankster stuffed into a long rubber tube to make it look like a human spine. Talk about a waste of a perfectly good beer bong. Don't they know how many colleges will love to get their hands on that?

The University of Alabama, Florida State, California - Santa Barbara. It's Party School Central out there. To toss it into the river is like tossing your education away.

If you want to pull off a real prank just dig up granny from a gravesite, grind her remains to a fine powder and put a teaspoon of it in someone's chamomile tea.

AUDIO - You're right, Scoob. We're dealing with one siick son of a bi**h.

FUZZY - Well, I thought it was kind of funny.

And lastly, in Weird News a woman in Taiwan kept hearing a strange clicking and rustling sound. So annoying, it kept her up at night. So she finally visited a doctor who took a close look inside her ear canal and found a spider. The doctor had to use a suction tube to pull the spider out.

And on the phone with me right now is Dr. Canal. So, sir, this must be a most unusual case you received in a while, correct?

DR. CANAL - Well, not exactly there, Mr. Fuzzy. Cases like these are the norm here in Taiwan. Just yesterday, I pulled a small ferret from a guy's rectum. And, boy, that was a hot mess. Damn little critter must have been playing hide and seek. But after a while, you've kind of seen it all and you stopped asking questions. And believe you me, you're better off not asking.

FUZZY - Yeah, I guess I could understand that. So how big was that spider when you pulled it out?

DR. CANAL - I would say it was no bigger than my right testicle. My left testicle, on the other hand, is the size of a baseball. And luckily for her, it wasn't that size. She would have had a big problem. Am I giving you too much information? If I am, just let me know. I do have a tendency to ramble on sometimes.

FUZZY - Well, thank you, sir. And I do find your answers very intriguing. My final question is this - to extract the spider you probably had to use some high-tech equipment. I would hate to see your bill.

DR. CANAL - Actually, it's not as high-tech as you think, Mr. Fuzzy. I just attach a hose to my Roomba vacuum that I lovingly name Sir Mix-a-Lot. You put that Roomba on high power and I swear that baby's got back. It just sucked the crap out of that spider. I only charged her $20. I'll treat myself to a nice steak tonight as I watch the video for that song. I like big butts and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny. Oh, I'm sorry about that, but we just love that song here in Taiwan.

FUZZY - That's quite all right, Dr. Canal. And enjoy your steak. You deserve it.

DR. CANAL - Well, thank you.

FUZZY - And that's DHA's Weird News.

MORE WEIRD NEWS WITH FUZZY

Axl's Birthdate: February 6, 1962 / Duff's Birthday: February 5, 1964

Band: Guns N' Roses

Instrument: Vocals & Bass

Axl's Age in 2024: 62 / Duff's Age in 2024: 60

Guns N’ Roses members Duff McKagan and Axl Rose both celebrate their birthdays this month! Duff was born February 5th, 1964, as Michael Andrew McKagan in Seattle Washington, and Axl was born February 6th, 1962, as William Bruce Rose Jr. In Lafayette Indiana.  

Axl Rose first started playing music with the band Rapidfire, followed by forming Hollywood Rose and joining L.A. Guns before the two bands merged to form Guns N’ Roses. From there after a number of lineup changes, Guns N’ Roses reached the lineup that would be featured on 1987’s Appetite for Destruction. After a handful of other successful releases in G N’ R Lies (1988), Use Your Illusion I & II (both 1991), and “The Spaghetti Incident?”, the band fell apart due to various internal issues leaving Axl and Dizzy Reed as the only members of the band. Axl proceeded to step away from the public view while he quietly reformed the band and worked on the controversial Chinese Democracy (2008). After 2012, Axl and the band started a hard 180 from its near end with 2012 bringing a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction as well as a Las Vegas residency. In 2016, along with Axl being asked to join the legendary AC/DC to finish their world tour, Slash and Duff McKagan rejoined the band for the Not in This Lifetime... Tour, which started with headlining Coachella and became the third highest-grossing concert tour of all time. The band continues in this reunited state with four new singles released between 2021 and 2023 and plenty of touring. 

Duff McKagan first ventured into music in 1979 at the age of 15 when he formed a punk band called The Vains, followed by some time hopping around other bands such as The Fastbacks, The Living, The Fartz, 10 Minute Warning, and Road Crew. Then, in 1985 Duff came in to replace Ole Beich in Guns N’ Roses, and after two years one of the most legendary debut albums in rock history, Appetite for Destruction, was released. After around 10 years with the band, Duff chose to leave Guns N’ Roses, saying in his autobiography, “The whole operation was so erratic that it didn’t seem to fit with my hopes for parenthood, for stability.” After his departure, McKagan formed Loaded as well as Velvet Revolver. Starting in 2010, Duff began playing a few songs with Guns N’ Roses again, either while opening for the band in Loaded or filling in for Tommy Stinson. That is, until 2016 when he, alongside Slash, officially rejoined Guns N’ roses and has been playing with them since.