Sherlock Holmes Has Nothing On the Great Mouse Detective

The legendary Sherlock Holmes solved some of the greatest crimes in fiction history, but he has absolutely nothing on the Great Mouse Detective.

Or perhaps we should rephrase that.

Holmes has nothing on the Great Mouse Detective, in the mind of the one and (thankfully) only Executive Producer Michael Fuzzy Lee who puts his unique spin on this tale.

As you will find out in today's episode of Fuzzy's Fractured Fairy Tales.

ANNOUNCER - It's time to listen to one of our favorite magical stories. Well, sort of. It's Fuzzy's Fractured Fairy Tales on the WDHA Morning Jolt.

FUZZY - And good morning everyone, it's time for another fun-filled fracturing of The Great Mouse Detective - Basil Saves the Day.

Basil, known as the Great Mouse Detective, lived within the kitchen cabinets of an old Victorian house with his assistant Dawson. Upon cleaning the mouse's nest, Dawson seemed disgruntled.

DAWSON - Man, this low-paying job sucks. We're the money act. I'm tired of wasting my time for small chunks of cheese. I want the whole f***ing block.

BASIL - Listen Dawson, we don't do this for the money. We do this because we love helping people.

DAWSON - Oh really? Is that the Great Mouse Detective's slogan? I want you to help me, sucker.
I'm still trying to save money for lap dance at Scores Night Club. Oh, how I miss Minnie's milky d***s.

FUZZY - As Dawson wept for Minnie's milky d***s, Olivia Mouse burst into Basil's office with a mystery that needs to be solved.

OLIVIA - Detective Basil, you have to help me. My father is missing. The only clue left was a snot-filled handkerchief and a red spring.

DAWSON - Listen, lady, we're just a bunch of underpaid mice. Sherlock Holmes and Watson has an office right outside the kitchen cabinets. At least those two motherf***s can afford capes and a magnifying glass to do the job.

BASIL - Hold it. Based on the amount of snot balls on this cloth and by analyzing the spring, he is currently being held in the bathroom at the toy shop.

OLIVIA - That's incredible, Detective Basil. Now we can get my father.

DAWSON - Wait a minute. Hold on. How did you get that deduction genius?

BASIL - Well simply put, when I have an urge to drop a deuce, my allergies act up. And secondly, there's a tag on the spring that says "made at the toy shop." It's elementary, my dear Dawson.
FUZZY - As Dawson shook his head and Olivia shook her tail, there was only one last thing that needed to be said.

FUZZY - A lap dance does sound good about now. Tune in next week for part 2 of The Great Mouse Detective on Fuzzy's Fractured Fairy Tales.

MORE FUZZY'S FRACTURED FAIRY TALES

Weezer has been teasing an announcement for a little bit and now it’s been revealed! Turns out, they’ll be doing a tour with The Flaming Lips and Dinosaur Jr. called “Voyage To The Blue Planet.” If you’re wondering if this has anything to do with their debut “Blue” album, it certainly does. Let’s Look at 5 Reasons why Weezer’s upcoming tour is going to rock!

This tour is to celebrate the 30th anniversary of their self-titled debut, known to many as the “Blue” album. It’s a debut that is super-solid. So well produced and executed with a number of big hits on it as well. It’s hard to believe that Weezer has been churning out music for 30 years, but it’s true. And as I said this was such a great debut. It had a big stadium-like sound, with so many harmony-filled parts and great guitar work. It’s really a 90’s classic!

What’s also exciting is that they’re bringing out 2 bands that are very underrated and never really shined in the spotlight as much as they should have. So, we’ll get some great tunes from the opening acts as well! Dinosaur Jr in particular is really fun to watch perform and has such a fun and energized sound. While the Flaming Lips are so unique and experiment with many textures and vibes within their music.

I think it’s going to be difficult for Weezer to pull off some of the deep cuts on their debut because boy was there a lot of great vocal harmonies. But if you’ve seen Weezer in concert, you know they can do it. Plus, we’re getting other assorted hits during the show and rarities as well. It’s going to be an epic night at the Garden on September 11th. I really can’t wait!

Let’s take a look at 5 standout moments from their first album.

The album kicks off with that iconic clean acoustic guitar riff. So awesome and then once the distortion fires off, strap in for the ride!

The lyrics are something we can all connect with.  The guitars are distorted but also mixed with that acoustic sound too.  And the harmonies are insane!

Patrick Wilson opens it up with a simple drum fill and it's on!  I always loved how the ending just kind of falls apart and sounds like a disaster.  Very cool!

Rivers sings about being nerdy and wanting to be like Kiss.  It's an ode to childhood and growing up.  So much emotion in here!

I feel so much heartache listening to this one.  That bass line is epic that the songs leads with.  And as it builds and builds it feels like we're actually in a dream.