It’s Always Good To Listen To Mom’s Advice
Remember as a little kid when Mom would say, “Don’t put that in your mouth! You never know where it’s been!”
For me, it usually involved money (kids ALWAYS put money in their mouths) and literally anything that dropped on the floor.
Hopefully, you listened to Mom’s advice because it certainly would come in handy with today’s episode of Weird News.
We have everything from snake bites to hungry bear cubs, to sticking things where the sun don’t shine.
ANNOUNCER – Time now for WDHA’s Weird News with Michael Fuzzy Lee
FUZZY – Today in Weird News, an Australian hiker wrangled up a snake while on the hike and thought his kids might be interested.
So he brought it home without realizing it was a venomous serpent until it bit him on the hand.
His hand swelled up and he started violently vomiting, he ultimately went to the emergency room for anti-venom treatment. If he didn’t, the bite could have killed him.
Let this be a lesson for all the kids out there. If your foolish father brings home a venomous snake, better to pack something that could protect you like a small pocket knife.
AUDIO – That’s not a knife. That’s a knife.
Or you could bring a small sword like Crocodile Dundee. Whatever works best for you.
That poor bear cub
Also, in Weird News, a park ranger in Pennsylvania saved the life of a bear cub.
The hungry little guy got its head stuck inside a plastic jug filled with honey, but did manage to get every last morsel at the bottom of the container.
The rangers spotted the bear cub while driving to a friend’s home and popped off the jar in a matter of seconds. She said, and I quote, “I highly doubt that it would have survived another day without intervention. It was very weak and dehydrated.”
Oh, this shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. Winnie the Pooh gets his head stuck in the honey jar daily.
Whatever gene is responsible for that seems to have passed down to the next generation.
I hope you’re satisfied, Pooh Bear.
POOH BEAR – Oh, of course, what could be more important than a little something to eat?
Oh, shut the hell up, Pooh Bear. And by the way, you’re next on the Fractured List. In two weeks, I’m going to be shredding one of your beloved stories, so beware.
Mom’s advice would help here
And lastly in Weird News, several store owners from Texas reported a man strolled into their stores and grabbed pricey items, which he then inserted into his rear end, a task that he made easier by wearing a kilt.
The items that went through the man’s butt included an antique makeup brush, a vintage bottle opener, and a tobacco tent can.
After dipping them into his backside, the man returned them to the shelves and left the store. All the items had to be thrown away because he left traces of feces behind.
Holy crap!
Well, that’s one way to take a valuable item and devalue it quickly. You should have grabbed vintage wine from the shelf. It will go nicely with that antique bottle opener that he just stuck up his s***s.
I hear 1950 is a good year for you collectors out there.
And that’s DHA’s Weird News.
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