Fort Lauderdale Is Waiting For Florida Man With Open Arms
Take heart, Florida Man. Miami Beach may have told you to stay home, but Fort Lauderdale is waiting for you with open arms.
All in the hope, of course, that you will open your wallet during spring break.
FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!
DATELINE – Fort Lauderdale.
Let’s set the scene for you.
A few days ago, we told you that Miami Beach wanted to break up with spring break.
They’ve had it.
The debauchery, the drunken displays, all of it.
They’re done.
They’ve gone to great lengths to tell you, “We don’t want you,” including an advertising campaign.
“It’s not us. It’s you.”
“When you’re done with your spring break phase….”
Miami Beach doesn’t want you, but you know who does?
Fort Lauderdale, just about a 45 minute drive.
They want you down there, baby.
The mayor saying you’re welcome to come. And they’re already prepped for next weekend. This coming weekend with the High Holy Day of St. Patrick’s Day, the drunken embarrassment that Americans have turned it into.
Well, they’re ready for you.
At the press conference, the mayor of Fort Lauderdale said, “We want to make your spring break experience the best experience you’ve ever had.
“Why? Because we want you to come back,” the mayor said.
“We want you to come back next year. We want you to come back in future years.
“And hey, maybe you might want to make Fort Lauderdale your home.”
Meanwhile, this young lady made this proclamation on national television the other day from spring break in Florida.
Day 1 of Spring Break.
— Lawrence Jones III (@LawrenceBJones3) March 12, 2024
Step 1) bronzer.
Step 2) cocaine. pic.twitter.com/E9JTFAAh2B
Two thoughts come to mind.
One, she must be an absolute joy in the classroom.
And two, imagine how proud her parents must be.
MORE EPISODES OF FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN