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Florida Man Strikes Again And He’s Bringing Some Heavy Machinery With Him

By Jim Monaghan September 13th

FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN! And this time, he’s bringing the heavy machinery with him.

Who doesn’t love an excavator? There’s something to be said for a machine that can move massive piles of dirt and plow through just about anything.

Little boys have a special affinity for construction sites. Who knows, maybe it’s because of all the dirt, or maybe the noise.

Maybe this is just a case of Florida Man refusing to grow up.

Or being REALLY drunk.

DATELINE – Gainesville, Florida and the Saga of Florida Man Jesse Charles Smith.

Police say that Smith entered a work site, saw an excavator, and thought, hmm, that should be fun to drive.

He hotwired it and then decided to take it out for a little spin.

Well, while he was taking said spin, he took out some power poles before crashing through a storage area, went through a Walmart, and hit up a number of buildings, in fact, at a nearby store center.

You have to think of the thought process that went into all of this because it wasn’t as if he found the excavator with keys in it. No, he hotwired it. Think of the planning that had to go into this.

Well, he reportedly caused about $2 million in damages in total. Between the power lines, and the damage to the Walmart and other buildings, he’s been charged with grand theft, property damage, resisting an officer, and trespassing.

Given the scope of what went on here, I’ve got a really strong feeling the trespassing charges are the least of Florida Man‘s problems.

Top 5 “Florida Man Strikes Again” Stories For August 2023

The month of August was pretty wild for Florida Man.

Oh sure, there were the usual drunken adventures and mishaps. And impersonating a police officer, well that’s definitely nothing new for Florida Man.

What surprised us was the location Florida Man chose for some of his antics – like church – and his inclusion of Mom a couple of times.

Even for non-believers, there has to be at least a little concern of “What if…” when you decide to commit any kind of crime in a church or house of worship.

After all, there are so many other places to find victims these days.

Although we will admit that the attempt at salvation via baptism while in the act of vandalizing a church puts a different sort of twist on things.

And when it comes to dealing with Mom….

Look, you can get any member of the family you want angry at you. But Mom?

Come on, Florida Man. You can do better than that.

  • Florida Man Arrested While Trying To Get INTO A Police Car To Threaten Someone

    The month of August started off with one of the more bizarre Florida Man stories we’ve seen in awhile.

    Florida Man has spent a lot of time in police cars, but this might have been the first time he actively tried to get into one.

    Florida Man Arrested While Trying To Get INTO A Police Car To Threaten Someone

  • You See A Church Congregation, Florida Man Sees Victims For His Next Fraud

    Florida Man seemed to spend a lot of time in church during the month of August.

    In this first instance, Florida Man saw a lot of targets for his investment scam.

    You See A Church Congregation, Florida Man Sees Victims For His Next Fraud

  • Florida Man Looks For Some Heavenly Salvation In the Middle of A Burglary

    Back to church for Florida Man!

    This time, he decided that maybe salvation could be found while committing a crime if he took a dip in the sanctuary baptismal pool.

    And why not have a K-9 officer join in too?

    Florida Man Looks For Some Heavenly Salvation In the Middle of A Burglary

  • Florida Man’s Mom Is Not Going To Be Happy About What He Told the Police

    In addition to being in church, Florida Man spent a lot of time with Mom during the month of August.

    Somehow, blaming Mom for her being the one who gave you a container that contained drug residue in it is not going to warm her heart.

    Florida Man’s Mom Is Not Going To Be Happy About What He Told the Police

  • Florida Man Adds Dear Old Mom To His Multimillion-Dollar Theft Ring

    It looks as if Florida Man REALLY wants to get the family together in his ring of theft – even Dear Old Mom.

    This time, Florida Man didn’t even have to throw her under the bus; she was along with him on the bus ride.

    Florida Man Adds Dear Old Mom To His Multimillion-Dollar Theft Ring

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