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Make No Mistake – Florida Man Really Wants You To Get Off His Lawn

By Jim Monaghan September 14th

Construction equipment seems to be a theme with Florida Man this week. Yesterday, we told you about Florida Man hotwiring an excavator. This morning, if you have construction equipment, Florida Man REALLY wants you off his lawn.

FLORIDA MAN STRIKES AGAIN!

DATELINE – Fort Myers and the Saga of Florida Man Timothy Demarse, who has a message for you – “Get off my lawn. Did you hear me? I said get off my lawn now. Get off my lawn.”

He’s not kidding either. As you’ll hear in this report from NBC 2’s Madison Adams:

Two construction workers were leaving work for the night, attaching their trailer to their truck. That’s when they say a man walked outside of his home and pointed a gun at them, all because he was afraid that they were going to ruin his grass.

Residents who live on South Town and River Drive say that they’re shocked to hear that the issue escalated so quickly. “Oh, my goodness.”

One of their neighbors is accused of pointing a gun at two construction workers as unfortunate and completely out of character with this whole area. A report from the Lee County Sheriff’s Office says that Timothy Demarse even told deputies that he would shoot the construction workers if they messed up his lawn.

“That’s a lot for some grass.”

They found the gun that he allegedly pointed at the men on a shelf in his garage, and they say it was loaded. “Everyone seems to have a really short fuse lately, so it doesn’t take much to get people stressed out. Everybody on this street really got hurt bad with (Hurricane) Ian, and I just think people are tired and upset and getting contractors to work and getting the work done and getting our lives back together that I just think people are just at wits end.”

Deputies arrested Demarse, and he’s facing charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. But tonight, he is bonded out of jail.

“I think I’ll find out whothat neighbor is and stay away.”

That’s probably really good advice. Look, I take pride in my lawn, right? You want it to look nice? But, boy, when he says, “Get off my lawn did you hear me? I said get off my lawn now. Get off my lawn.” Yeah, I’m getting off his lawn.

Top 5 “Florida Man Strikes Again” Stories For August 2023

The month of August was pretty wild for Florida Man.

Oh sure, there were the usual drunken adventures and mishaps. And impersonating a police officer, well that’s definitely nothing new for Florida Man.

What surprised us was the location Florida Man chose for some of his antics – like church – and his inclusion of Mom a couple of times.

Even for non-believers, there has to be at least a little concern of “What if…” when you decide to commit any kind of crime in a church or house of worship.

After all, there are so many other places to find victims these days.

Although we will admit that the attempt at salvation via baptism while in the act of vandalizing a church puts a different sort of twist on things.

And when it comes to dealing with Mom….

Look, you can get any member of the family you want angry at you. But Mom?

Come on, Florida Man. You can do better than that.

  • Florida Man Arrested While Trying To Get INTO A Police Car To Threaten Someone

    The month of August started off with one of the more bizarre Florida Man stories we’ve seen in awhile.

    Florida Man has spent a lot of time in police cars, but this might have been the first time he actively tried to get into one.

    Florida Man Arrested While Trying To Get INTO A Police Car To Threaten Someone

  • You See A Church Congregation, Florida Man Sees Victims For His Next Fraud

    Florida Man seemed to spend a lot of time in church during the month of August.

    In this first instance, Florida Man saw a lot of targets for his investment scam.

    You See A Church Congregation, Florida Man Sees Victims For His Next Fraud

  • Florida Man Looks For Some Heavenly Salvation In the Middle of A Burglary

    Back to church for Florida Man!

    This time, he decided that maybe salvation could be found while committing a crime if he took a dip in the sanctuary baptismal pool.

    And why not have a K-9 officer join in too?

    Florida Man Looks For Some Heavenly Salvation In the Middle of A Burglary

  • Florida Man’s Mom Is Not Going To Be Happy About What He Told the Police

    In addition to being in church, Florida Man spent a lot of time with Mom during the month of August.

    Somehow, blaming Mom for her being the one who gave you a container that contained drug residue in it is not going to warm her heart.

    Florida Man’s Mom Is Not Going To Be Happy About What He Told the Police

  • Florida Man Adds Dear Old Mom To His Multimillion-Dollar Theft Ring

    It looks as if Florida Man REALLY wants to get the family together in his ring of theft – even Dear Old Mom.

    This time, Florida Man didn’t even have to throw her under the bus; she was along with him on the bus ride.

    Florida Man Adds Dear Old Mom To His Multimillion-Dollar Theft Ring

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